I know a woman who went through this. She had no power, so she waited it out. When her son was 16 he came to see her. They reunited happily. He's in his 30s now, and is very close to his affectionate mother, (and he's not a fan of his controlling dad).
Please, grieving mums, don't commit suicide. If all else fails, be patient. Your children will want to know you, and when they get independent, no one can stop them.
Except for all the psychological, etc abuse that stops them. Recovering from the loss of their childhoods is brutal enough, but there are SO many harms compounded on top of each other... This can be never-ending.
I was in a similar predicament 30 years ago. My ex was a police officer in the Midwest and had convinced the judge I was unfit by claiming I was a drug addict and alcoholic (neither was true). If I had not had recorded phone conversations of his threats, I would have lost my son. The judge changed his mind when he listened to the recordings.
Just for the record. I would have shot my ex before taking my own life. That bastard would have gone down with me. When there is no justice, vigilante justice arises.
Pause to think for a moment about the child's mental health. Warring parents are bad enough. One parent dead and the other in jail is a catastrophe for a child. That is not "justice", that's "revenge at any cost", and the cost is enormous and not just to the parents.
Did we read the same article? You honestly think leaving the kid with that Dad was a good idea?
“Julia’s husband became abusive after they married, but the abuse escalated after Alexander’s birth, as happens with so many mothers. He severely emotionally, physically, and verbally abused her. The emotional abuse included constant gaslighting. She did her best to tolerate it, because she wanted the family to stay together for Alexander.”
In truth, I was being sarcastic. Actually, I would never have committed suicide. One day the child will grow up. They have a way of finding out the truth. I would have waited for that day.
SIMPLE, Mamas, S I M P L E = THUS of Executive Director Dumas' TRUTHS and WISDOM soooo =
KNOW IT ALL and HEED her COUNSELS and KNOWLEDGES =
" Importantly, though, there should be no debate that alienation is a valid concept and has been in use for hundreds of years. What they should be saying is that judges L I E about mothers alienating and ALLOW FATHERS TO ALIENATE. "
and
" Judicial Alienation [ JA ] speaks to the ultimate cause of too many mothers’ sufferings and deaths.
The onus for this horrific crime must be placed where it belongs = it is JUDGES WHO EMPOWER FATHERS = SPERM SOURCES = TO ALIENATE CHILDREN A W A Y FROM MAMAS. Fathers cannot alienate children without a judge’s order THAT E N A B L E S* IT or the judge not enforcing orders that would prevent it. "
THIS ? This is SEXISM. PLAIN. SIMPLE, Mamas.
This is NOT ... ... I REPEAT ... ... This is N O T a gender - " neutral " nor a gender - " impartial " deal.
KNOW the H O L E S of https://womenscoalition.substack.com/s/rabbit-holes-of-the-post-separation including in re A L L of the JUDGES' MANDATED and ORDERED SYCOPHANTIC and OBSEQUIOUS and === *E N A B L I N G APPOINTEES ... ... VERY, VERY M A N Y of WHOM are ... ... WOMEN ... ... AND AND AND are " MOTHERS " THEMSELVES.
Tbere is zero excuse for fully alienating mothers or fathers from their children. A weekly visit at a contact center is the least a court can and should do.
Yes of course but in family courts there is only one epidemic/crisis: judges enabling fathers to alienate children from mothers. There is no crisis of judges enabling mothers to alienate children from fathers. In fact, mothers are often punished for keeping children away even a short time from the father.
I’ll do more than offer condolences. I promise to challenge the same system holding these judges accountable in my space and time. Every person who so much as held a door open for these criminals who use power positions and control to destroy mothers and mothering will feel justice. These criminal practices have, no natural or unnatural boundaries. This resurgence of hatred for women, control and power must stop.
Her ex and that judge need to deal with some consequences. Their names and faces need to be spread wide. They are guilty of many things that all led to the suicide of Julia. Their lives need to be ruined, as well.
Until assholes like this feel actual severe consequences, they - and others like them - will continue the same destructive behavior.
I'm worried for Alex. With a father like that, he could end up being as abusive as his dad. And the same cycle of abuse will continue.
I have no words for that judge. How was she able to make those decisions, none of which were based on law or logic? Seems like prejudice and nothing else.
How very and infuriating, as a mother who had to navigate the family court system and pay child support, I can tell you its a monster of a system to deal with. My family Court judge made it clear that she did not like me and confounded me a every turn. I feel so very sorry for her child that was left behind. The break up of a family is always difficult but, the family Court system compounds it.
It's been over two years since my children were ripped from me by Judge Susan Stacy of the 18th judicial circuit in Seminole county Florida for parental alienation now I am completely erased. I know exactly how she felt, I feel it every day. My only saving grace is that I got pregnant the same week my children were taken so my new baby is saving my life!
This happened to me, except it was the early 90s! I had to make a choice between leaving an abusive husband and certainty that I would lose my children because of that decision. I am lucky, but now most of them understand what happened. But it is still hard for them to live with what they had to go through.
I lived in the UK in the 1980s! I should never have left. My husband didn’t become unbearably abusive until we returned to the states. I think it had a lot to do with him not being able to drink while he was in the military. I feel for you and I hope that things have gotten better. Take care!
Sadly, alienation has continued with children and grandchildren, trauma bonding, brainwashiningg. How do you convincingly explain to any reasonable person that the courts handed them over to an abuser at jusr 3,5,7,and 9?
It's happening everywhere. Those fathers should be shamed just like the women who used to use the system to do this to men and it's a vicious cycle of the kids, who need both parents, ultimately loosing. That poor woman and I feel sorry for Alexander. Her ex is a piece of excrement.
I know a woman who went through this. She had no power, so she waited it out. When her son was 16 he came to see her. They reunited happily. He's in his 30s now, and is very close to his affectionate mother, (and he's not a fan of his controlling dad).
Please, grieving mums, don't commit suicide. If all else fails, be patient. Your children will want to know you, and when they get independent, no one can stop them.
And there is ALOT of damage done in the meantime, its not always a blissful, joy filled reunion at all. Some people are lucky.
Except for all the psychological, etc abuse that stops them. Recovering from the loss of their childhoods is brutal enough, but there are SO many harms compounded on top of each other... This can be never-ending.
My now adult children DO NOT WANT TO KNOW ME...they want to be left alone with their cult narratives.
I was in a similar predicament 30 years ago. My ex was a police officer in the Midwest and had convinced the judge I was unfit by claiming I was a drug addict and alcoholic (neither was true). If I had not had recorded phone conversations of his threats, I would have lost my son. The judge changed his mind when he listened to the recordings.
Exactly, I never had to say a bad word about my son's father to him. As he grew he realized on his own what type of a man his father is.
Just for the record. I would have shot my ex before taking my own life. That bastard would have gone down with me. When there is no justice, vigilante justice arises.
Pause to think for a moment about the child's mental health. Warring parents are bad enough. One parent dead and the other in jail is a catastrophe for a child. That is not "justice", that's "revenge at any cost", and the cost is enormous and not just to the parents.
Did we read the same article? You honestly think leaving the kid with that Dad was a good idea?
“Julia’s husband became abusive after they married, but the abuse escalated after Alexander’s birth, as happens with so many mothers. He severely emotionally, physically, and verbally abused her. The emotional abuse included constant gaslighting. She did her best to tolerate it, because she wanted the family to stay together for Alexander.”
In truth, I was being sarcastic. Actually, I would never have committed suicide. One day the child will grow up. They have a way of finding out the truth. I would have waited for that day.
SIMPLE, Mamas, S I M P L E = THUS of Executive Director Dumas' TRUTHS and WISDOM soooo =
KNOW IT ALL and HEED her COUNSELS and KNOWLEDGES =
" Importantly, though, there should be no debate that alienation is a valid concept and has been in use for hundreds of years. What they should be saying is that judges L I E about mothers alienating and ALLOW FATHERS TO ALIENATE. "
and
" Judicial Alienation [ JA ] speaks to the ultimate cause of too many mothers’ sufferings and deaths.
The onus for this horrific crime must be placed where it belongs = it is JUDGES WHO EMPOWER FATHERS = SPERM SOURCES = TO ALIENATE CHILDREN A W A Y FROM MAMAS. Fathers cannot alienate children without a judge’s order THAT E N A B L E S* IT or the judge not enforcing orders that would prevent it. "
THIS ? This is SEXISM. PLAIN. SIMPLE, Mamas.
This is NOT ... ... I REPEAT ... ... This is N O T a gender - " neutral " nor a gender - " impartial " deal.
KNOW the H O L E S of https://womenscoalition.substack.com/s/rabbit-holes-of-the-post-separation including in re A L L of the JUDGES' MANDATED and ORDERED SYCOPHANTIC and OBSEQUIOUS and === *E N A B L I N G APPOINTEES ... ... VERY, VERY M A N Y of WHOM are ... ... WOMEN ... ... AND AND AND are " MOTHERS " THEMSELVES.
Doc
Judge #kerifiore should be called out and shamed! She is partly to blame for the mothers suicide
Tbere is zero excuse for fully alienating mothers or fathers from their children. A weekly visit at a contact center is the least a court can and should do.
Yes of course but in family courts there is only one epidemic/crisis: judges enabling fathers to alienate children from mothers. There is no crisis of judges enabling mothers to alienate children from fathers. In fact, mothers are often punished for keeping children away even a short time from the father.
I’ll do more than offer condolences. I promise to challenge the same system holding these judges accountable in my space and time. Every person who so much as held a door open for these criminals who use power positions and control to destroy mothers and mothering will feel justice. These criminal practices have, no natural or unnatural boundaries. This resurgence of hatred for women, control and power must stop.
Unfortunately I can relate
This is pure evil
Yes it is.
Her ex and that judge need to deal with some consequences. Their names and faces need to be spread wide. They are guilty of many things that all led to the suicide of Julia. Their lives need to be ruined, as well.
Until assholes like this feel actual severe consequences, they - and others like them - will continue the same destructive behavior.
I'm worried for Alex. With a father like that, he could end up being as abusive as his dad. And the same cycle of abuse will continue.
I have no words for that judge. How was she able to make those decisions, none of which were based on law or logic? Seems like prejudice and nothing else.
How very and infuriating, as a mother who had to navigate the family court system and pay child support, I can tell you its a monster of a system to deal with. My family Court judge made it clear that she did not like me and confounded me a every turn. I feel so very sorry for her child that was left behind. The break up of a family is always difficult but, the family Court system compounds it.
It's been over two years since my children were ripped from me by Judge Susan Stacy of the 18th judicial circuit in Seminole county Florida for parental alienation now I am completely erased. I know exactly how she felt, I feel it every day. My only saving grace is that I got pregnant the same week my children were taken so my new baby is saving my life!
This happened to me, except it was the early 90s! I had to make a choice between leaving an abusive husband and certainty that I would lose my children because of that decision. I am lucky, but now most of them understand what happened. But it is still hard for them to live with what they had to go through.
And to me in Scotland, in the 1980's
I lived in the UK in the 1980s! I should never have left. My husband didn’t become unbearably abusive until we returned to the states. I think it had a lot to do with him not being able to drink while he was in the military. I feel for you and I hope that things have gotten better. Take care!
Sadly, alienation has continued with children and grandchildren, trauma bonding, brainwashiningg. How do you convincingly explain to any reasonable person that the courts handed them over to an abuser at jusr 3,5,7,and 9?
Been there done that. It happened to me. It is all about charm, having an attorney you pay a lot of money for and lying your ass off!
Thank you for bringing this story forward. I am so sorry Alexander has lost his loving mother.
This is so sad, and so avoidable.
It's happening everywhere. Those fathers should be shamed just like the women who used to use the system to do this to men and it's a vicious cycle of the kids, who need both parents, ultimately loosing. That poor woman and I feel sorry for Alexander. Her ex is a piece of excrement.