Mom Kills Husband after He Threatens to Take Custody of their Daughter
A new four-part Netflix true crime docuseries Elize: Once Upon a Crime, recounts the story of a mother who killed and dismembered her wealthy husband after he told her he was going to commit her to a psychiatric institution and take custody of their baby daughter.
Elize knew he would be able to do just that and apparently went temporarily insane. While on furlough from prison, she tells her story in her own words.
She says she is going public with her story for her daughter, whom she has not seen since she was arrested, as she wants her to understand what happened from her perspective.
I want her to have the opportunity to know what really happened.
Just before the shooting (of the film) commences, the producer reminds her, “Today is the day you tell your story to your daughter.”
Elize would desperately like to see her daughter again, a main theme throughout the series.
Elize’s husband’s family is one of the richest in Brazil and MSM was all over this story as it progressed. Brazilians followed it with great interest. There were two camps: those who thought Elize murdered her husband in a moment of passion and those who thought it was a calculated murder by a coldblooded, vindictive woman.
[SPOILER ALERT: If you are going to watch it, you may want to wait and read this column afterwards.]
ELIZE’S STORY
Elize grew up in the Brazilian countryside. Her father abandoned her at three years-old. Her stepfather abused her as a teen, so she left home to live with her aunt.
After she graduated high school, she happily moved to the big city with big dreams. She first worked as a nurse in São Paulo and later began working as an escort to put herself through law school.
She would eventually get a law degree, but not before falling for a wealthy client—shades of Pretty Woman with not such a great ending.
This wealthy client wined and dined her. They would often travel together to faraway places. He was a hunter and taught her how to hunt. He was so impressed that a woman would like hunting, especially such a pretty, petite blonde. He taught her how to clean the carcasses and prepare them for consumption. Unfortunately for him, this would later help seal his fate.
They became smitten with each other. He got her to stop escorting by offering to support her financially. He was already married but constantly told Elize the marriage was bad. Eventually he divorced and they were married.
He promised Elize he would stop hiring escorts. That did not last long.
Within a few years, things were rocky. They went to marital counseling and he said he would stop cheating.
Elize had wanted so badly to be a mom but had a hard time getting pregnant. Finally, through in vitro, she gave birth to her daughter. She hoped being a father would make her husband come around.
THE “YOU’RE CRAZY” TACTIC
But about six months after her daughter was born, things changed for the worse. He began treating her badly and she began suspecting he was again having an affair. They began arguing a lot.
He would go out, didn’t seem to care. He would hardly spend any time with us. I had to beg him to be involved.
I was married to a different person. He was like a stranger.
He no longer seemed interested in making the marriage better. Whenever Elize would confront him about her suspicion of an affair, he would adamantly deny it, saying he was away at night because he was busy with work. He repeatedly demeaned her for daring to accuse him, calling her crazy for even thinking such a thing.
My biggest fear was that he said I was crazy and he would commit me to a [psychiatric ward]. He threatened that countless times.
Elize confided in their religious counselor that she was in fear, not only of being committed, but for her life. She told him he had threatened to kill her and she “had no doubt he could follow through” on that.
But the marriage counselor was not interested in Elize’s well-being. Like in so many patriarchal religions, women exist to serve and obey the husband. And if they don’t, well—there are those age-old methods men use to deal with uppity women.
This so-called spiritual advisor actually admits on camera he suggested to the husband he get a psychiatrist to put Elize on medication to calm her down (i.e. sedate her into accepting his negligence, abuse and dalliances). Also, that he consider committing her to a mental institution (if she didn’t get with the program on meds). The husband told the counselor he already had an institution picked out in Campinas, a city north of São Paulo.
So Elize’s fear of being committed by him was justified. She had interned at a psychiatric hospital while working as a nurse and was terrified of this.
I was an intern at a psychiatric hospital. People get there and get medicated, drugged. They’re just left there drooling with no idea where they are.
2012: YEAR OF THE CRIME
But Elize knew she wasn’t crazy. The gaslighting did not work on her. So she set out to prove she wasn’t crazy.
Elize hired a P.I. [private investigator] to confirm her suspicions were true. She went to visit her aunt and grandmother in the countryside. While she was away, the P.I. was able to gather plenty of photographic evidence of him cavorting around with an escort. Not surprisingly perhaps, it turns out his previous wife had been an escort as well and he had tired of her and dumped her for Elize.
When she returned to São Paulo, Elize confronted him, hoping he would come clean, agree to stop cheating, and get back into the marriage. But he again adamantly denied it, again calling her crazy.
So she showed him the photos of him hugging and kissing the escort, at last proving she was not crazy.
Was the cheater repentant? No. Instead, he was furious she had hired a P.I. He lunged at her grabbing her by the throat.
She got away and told him she wanted a divorce. He told her, “You think someone with your reputation will find Prince Charming? You’ll only find men to f**k your pussy.” More demeaning behavior—verbal and emotional abuse.
He told her he was going to take their daughter away from her. He said the judge would certainly give him custody, that a judge would never give her custody. After all, she had been an escort.
He was apparently not concerned that his own escort predilection, not to mention that was what caused the divorce, would harm his ability to get custody. And, of course, he was right; it wouldn’t. Except that maybe he wasn’t aware that he did not even need the fact she had been an escort to get custody. He could have said anything negative about her, true or false, and the judge would most likely have credited him and given him custody.
Elize was well aware that he would be able to take their daughter away from her. The thought of losing her precious daughter, a 1 year-old baby, caused a state of temporary insanity.
She went and got one of their many guns and proceeded to shoot him in the head. She was an expert marksman and the one shot killed him.
Then she panicked. She knew she would never see her daughter again if she were caught and convicted. So she needed to clean up and hide the body. She chopped it up, leaving very little blood due to her acquired skill in dismembering corpses. She was also able to dissociate off the gruesome task as she had been trained to do when she worked as a nurse.
Elize packed his dismembered parts into garbage bags, placed the parts into suitcases and wheeled the suitcases into the elevator of their apartment building. She drove to the outskirts of São Paulo and scattered the bags separately in wooded areas.
The bags were found a week later. Elize was arrested and jailed without bond.
Shortly after the arrest, she confessed. Sections of her taped confession are interspersed throughout the series.
THE TRIAL
Elize testified in her own defense with her lawyer at her side.
Elize’s defense was that it was a crime of passion. She was terrified he would follow through on his threats to kill her, to commit her, and worst of all, take her baby from her.
The prosecution argued that it was a cold, calculated, premeditated murder by a vindictive woman who had chopped up her husband out of spite. They added many aggravating factors, including the dismemberment.
The jury rejected the prosecution’s claim of premeditated, cold-blooded murder and discarded with most of the aggravating factors. This should have mitigated the sentence by a little or a lot. It was up to the judge.
But the judge gave Elize the harshest sentence possible under the law. He was not about to give this uppity woman a minute less than the law allowed. Women are often given the harshest sentences for killing men, even in self defense; whereas, men often get off easy after the supposed crime of passion of killing a wife who’s cheated on them.
Elize was sentenced to nearly 19 years. That means she should be released around 2031. It is unclear whether Brazil allows early release for good behavior. She is in a women's prison in Tremembé, east of São Paulo. She is allowed five week-long furloughs a year.
Elize’s daughter is now 12 years-old. She was told about what happened when she was 6.
The father’s parents were given sole custody and Elize lost all parental rights. So far she has not been allowed to visit with her daughter. That is in contrast with fathers who murder. Children are often forced to visit them in prison.
Elize remains hopeful that someday she will be able to tell her daughter about the circumstances surrounding the crime and that she is remorseful for what happened. And hopefully her daughter will forgive her. After all, it was Elize’s intense love for her and the thought of losing her that caused her to snap.
CAUTIONARY TALE
This story is a cautionary tale to husbands/exes who take or threaten to take children away from the mother. There is an incredibly intense and deep maternal bond that could truly make a mother crazy if deprived of her child—crazy enough to kill. It is also important to keep in mind the extreme emotional damage done to children whose mother has been taken from them—the serious psychological crime these men are committing which the women are reacting to.
This should also serve as a warning for husbands/exes who threaten to kill or commit women who do not comply with their demands and entitlement in the family. Women as a class now understand this has been a common male M.O. throughout history used to maintain their power and to disempower and punish women; and women are ready to stand together to defend and support those similarly situated.
As a testament to the phenomenon of women murdering men who have victimized them in these ways, Women’s Coalition News & Views will be profiling other similar cases. We are, of course, in no way condoning murder (or dismemberment), just exposing and explaining what may lead up to it.
The next story will be a famous case of a mother who murdered her ex and his new wife after he took her three children and began alienating them from her.
You may also support the Coalition’s work through a one-time or recurring contribution at paypal.me/TheWomensCoalition
Her husband called her crazy and tried to commit her. She wasn't crazy. He threatened to take her child away and she snapped. There's no greater stress than to have your child taken away. Her husband pushed her too far and drove her crazy.
I wish I was given credit for the steps I took to not un-alive my daughters rapist. I superseded my own gut instincts in favor of allowing the “authorities” to do their jobs. I now know I was mistaken in taking this route.