Im the mum in the Metro article that hasnt seen or heard from my 18 year old daughter for 6 years. I did call my situation alienated but it was rewritten by journalist as theres such a push in the uk to say alienation is a pseudo science. It leaves mums like me very unsupported as PA sector has alot of abusive men in it and DA side is filled with women whove been falsely accused and say it is an abusers tool. The genuine cases are in no mans land when it comes to support
It's too bad journalists are going along with MA's pressure to not use the word alienation when that is exactly what it is. The PA groups are really just fathers' rights groups taking advantage of that. It's good you recognized that. But just know that alienated mamas are supported here at the Women's Coalition! Sorry that family court enabled the father to alienate your daughter from you--there are so many of us.
Gender-neutral terms definitely mask the real problem, which is that judges are intentionally giving custody to fathers regardless of whether abuse charges are brought up against them or not. The presence of abuse makes the case worse but doesn't change the outcome - viz. prioritizing the father's interests over those of the children. Many children don't like a 50/50 split. It disrupts their lives, but that seems to hardly matter to the judges and flies in the face of their “best interest of the child” false doctrine. They have no intention of respecting what the child wants. The 'best interest of the child' is just a smokescreen for doing whatever they want.
However, to say that judges are falsely “finding” mothers to be alienating is inaccurate, because the use of the word “find” suggests that they either investigated themselves or looked at evidence - neither of which is true. More accurately, judges are falsely “accusing” mothers of alienating both at the slightest suggestion from the father’s side and also on their own. Their is a presumption of guilt by the judges here but no evidence to back it up. In doing so judges are acting as prosecutors instead of doing their jobs as neutral, impartial judges. Prosecutors are required to produce evidence to back their allegations. Not so the judges. They can accuse you, on the spot, without evidence and that becomes the overriding 'truth' - They also pick a side viz. the father's side - de facto - and this is another big violation of the code of conduct for judges.
In plain words, judges are liars. They lie about mothers, and they lie about protecting children's interests. There is no need for MAs to pussyfoot around this truth either. Just call a spade a spade. The ultimate casualty here is children - their well-being and their interests - but no one is framing the arguments around children’s interests and rights. And that is a big problem. Judges are deliberately putting children in harm’s way with their lies and their abuse of power.
Since judges and their abuse of power are the main problem here, no amount of awareness or training is going to change their malicious intent or mindset. Family Court, therefore, just needs to be abolished. Otherwise, judicial abuse is going to continue one way or another, as long as these judges have the power they do
Yes, but judges are not just "accusing" mothers. Their power is in being able to make an official "finding" that the mother is alienating (or some version of it) so as to justify their order switching custody to the father. That does not mean they have done an investigation or have considered the evidence. They rarely do proper investigations and commonly disregard strong evidence.
There was no such 'official' finding in my case. Only an accusation hurled by my ex's attorney (female) at the very first hearing before my attorney (who was colluding) said a word, and before any evidence against my ex could be presented - and the judge (also a female) just ran with it and threatened to take my children away. She didn't bother asking for any evidence and had no interest in looking at the evidence I had gathered. Just declaring someone an alienator without evidence does not make it 'official'. It's a false allegation.
I had never heard of PA before that day. As I discovered much later, it was all a ploy to divert attention from the fact that my ex was an absentee, estranged father who had abandoned his own children (thus self-alienating himself) and who had also left us destitute by wiping out all the money from the bank. He, his attorney and the judge were actively suppressing these facts. It was classic DARVO - the goal was to intimidate me into silence so I wouldn't bring up the piles of evidence of financial and other abuse against my Ex. I also found out that his attorney (female) only represented fathers and used PA in every case to discredit mothers. That was her playbook, her trump card. She also had cozy relationships with the court staff, and that came in handy when they tampered with my Protective Order against my ex. I was told by my first lawyer that the PO had been issued - only to find out months later that the judge’s signature had mysteriously vanished.
But back to the original point - there was no ‘official’ finding of alienation - just a pre-fabricated pronouncement, made on the spot and without a shred of evidence.
Added: Remember the main replacement narratives mamas:
Judges know exactly what they are doing.
&
Judges can do anything they want.
Im the mum in the Metro article that hasnt seen or heard from my 18 year old daughter for 6 years. I did call my situation alienated but it was rewritten by journalist as theres such a push in the uk to say alienation is a pseudo science. It leaves mums like me very unsupported as PA sector has alot of abusive men in it and DA side is filled with women whove been falsely accused and say it is an abusers tool. The genuine cases are in no mans land when it comes to support
It's too bad journalists are going along with MA's pressure to not use the word alienation when that is exactly what it is. The PA groups are really just fathers' rights groups taking advantage of that. It's good you recognized that. But just know that alienated mamas are supported here at the Women's Coalition! Sorry that family court enabled the father to alienate your daughter from you--there are so many of us.
Gender-neutral terms definitely mask the real problem, which is that judges are intentionally giving custody to fathers regardless of whether abuse charges are brought up against them or not. The presence of abuse makes the case worse but doesn't change the outcome - viz. prioritizing the father's interests over those of the children. Many children don't like a 50/50 split. It disrupts their lives, but that seems to hardly matter to the judges and flies in the face of their “best interest of the child” false doctrine. They have no intention of respecting what the child wants. The 'best interest of the child' is just a smokescreen for doing whatever they want.
However, to say that judges are falsely “finding” mothers to be alienating is inaccurate, because the use of the word “find” suggests that they either investigated themselves or looked at evidence - neither of which is true. More accurately, judges are falsely “accusing” mothers of alienating both at the slightest suggestion from the father’s side and also on their own. Their is a presumption of guilt by the judges here but no evidence to back it up. In doing so judges are acting as prosecutors instead of doing their jobs as neutral, impartial judges. Prosecutors are required to produce evidence to back their allegations. Not so the judges. They can accuse you, on the spot, without evidence and that becomes the overriding 'truth' - They also pick a side viz. the father's side - de facto - and this is another big violation of the code of conduct for judges.
In plain words, judges are liars. They lie about mothers, and they lie about protecting children's interests. There is no need for MAs to pussyfoot around this truth either. Just call a spade a spade. The ultimate casualty here is children - their well-being and their interests - but no one is framing the arguments around children’s interests and rights. And that is a big problem. Judges are deliberately putting children in harm’s way with their lies and their abuse of power.
Since judges and their abuse of power are the main problem here, no amount of awareness or training is going to change their malicious intent or mindset. Family Court, therefore, just needs to be abolished. Otherwise, judicial abuse is going to continue one way or another, as long as these judges have the power they do
Yes, but judges are not just "accusing" mothers. Their power is in being able to make an official "finding" that the mother is alienating (or some version of it) so as to justify their order switching custody to the father. That does not mean they have done an investigation or have considered the evidence. They rarely do proper investigations and commonly disregard strong evidence.
There was no such 'official' finding in my case. Only an accusation hurled by my ex's attorney (female) at the very first hearing before my attorney (who was colluding) said a word, and before any evidence against my ex could be presented - and the judge (also a female) just ran with it and threatened to take my children away. She didn't bother asking for any evidence and had no interest in looking at the evidence I had gathered. Just declaring someone an alienator without evidence does not make it 'official'. It's a false allegation.
I had never heard of PA before that day. As I discovered much later, it was all a ploy to divert attention from the fact that my ex was an absentee, estranged father who had abandoned his own children (thus self-alienating himself) and who had also left us destitute by wiping out all the money from the bank. He, his attorney and the judge were actively suppressing these facts. It was classic DARVO - the goal was to intimidate me into silence so I wouldn't bring up the piles of evidence of financial and other abuse against my Ex. I also found out that his attorney (female) only represented fathers and used PA in every case to discredit mothers. That was her playbook, her trump card. She also had cozy relationships with the court staff, and that came in handy when they tampered with my Protective Order against my ex. I was told by my first lawyer that the PO had been issued - only to find out months later that the judge’s signature had mysteriously vanished.
But back to the original point - there was no ‘official’ finding of alienation - just a pre-fabricated pronouncement, made on the spot and without a shred of evidence.