Another Child Murdered by a Vengeful Ex after Judge Orders Joint Custody

Ex-Husbands Are the Vindictive Ones—Contrary to the Prevailing Narrative

Yet another child has been murdered by a vengeful ex-husband after a Family Court judge gave him joint custody.

When the two-year-old boy was not returned to his mother Sunday evening, she contacted law enforcement. They acted on it immediately, as they had responded to multiple domestic violence calls and there was an active Restraining Order against the father.

Police broke down the door and discovered the bodies of both father and son. Their deaths were caused by carbon monoxide poisoning. It was a murder-suicide.

Men harming or killing children to wreak revenge on women after separation is not new or uncommon. Ironically, the narrative adhered to in Family Court is that women are the vindictive ones. Judges rarely view the father as potentially vengeful, even when there is ample evidence, such as a Restraining Order, as in this case. Not to mention that statistics clearly show men retaliating violently is the real problem.

This judicial perspective feeds on the age-old narrative: “a woman scorned”. Let’s look at how that false narrative came to prevail in culture and Family Court and the harm it is doing, but first Sophie’s story.

SOPHIE’S STORY

Sophie is an intensive care physician in New South Wales, Australia. She gave birth to Little Rowan in 2022.

Sophie left her husband last year, presumably because of his abusive behavior. Mothers don’t just up and leave a good man with a one-year-old baby.

It has been reported that he was “just” emotionally abusive and coercively controlling, rather than physically violent. However, since the police had been called on multiple occasions, this indicates that Sophie was likely at least threatened, stalked, or was in fear of physical violence.

After Sophie left her husband in August of last year, she was granted a criminal Restraining Order. It stated that he must not “assault, threaten, stalk or harass her, or anyone she has a domestic relationship with, nor intentionally or recklessly destroy or damage any property or harm an animal that belongs to her”.

Joint custody was ordered, with Rowan’s primary residence being with Sophie. It is unclear whether she attempted to get supervised visitation for the father. Women are often advised by Family Court attorneys not to try, even if they are afraid for their child. They are told they risk being deemed an “unfriendly” or “uncooperative” parent and sole custody going to the father.

The Restraining Order was extended in March for 12 more months. This must have been the final straw for her ex and may be when he began plotting his revenge. He meticulously devised a complicated gas-poisoning system that could be used in his apartment to kill his son and himself.

Last Sunday, Sophie brought Rowan for his visit. She was no doubt worried about his well-being—so young and alone with this abusive man.

When her ex did not return Rowan at 4:30 pm, she called the police. He did not answer the door so they got a warrant and returned at 9:45 pm to make a forced entry. They found both deceased from carbon monoxide poisoning.

Sophie said she is facing insurmountable grief and is grateful for the widespread public support. She issued this statement:

Rowan's life was ended by an evil and cowardly act of violence, perpetrated by a person he should have been able to trust the most. There are no possible excuses for this hurt, and no end to the pain it has caused.

KIDS MURDERED BY “PARENTS”

Children being murdered by parents is a recognized phenomenon. However, family court reform and protective parent organizations [FCO’S and PPO’S] do not stress the fact that the vast majority of these murders are committed by vengeful fathers who are being deliberately enabled by Family Court judges.

Cases in which mothers and fathers kill their children are being conflated, misleading the public into thinking they are the same. There is no mention of the motives for the murders being different. This is a very important distinction, especially for custody cases, and needs public attention.

In a survey done about child murders in Family Court cases, less than ten percent were committed by mothers. These were done for one of three reasons: she did not want to hand them over to the abuser/molester father, she was seriously mentally ill/psychotic, or a boyfriend/stepfather was influencing her.

On the other hand, when fathers killed their children, they rarely did so because they did not want to hand them over to an abuser/molester mother, they were seriously mentally ill/psychotic, or a girlfriend/stepmother influenced them to do it. Fathers almost always acted out of revenge sparked by losing control over their ex.

The upshot? When children are murdered after separation, it is fathers who do it for revenge, not mothers.

So why is the prevailing narrative in society and Family Court that women are the vindictive ones?

“A WOMAN SCORNED”

Narratives that portray women as vindictive and vengeful have been embedded into social consciousness since day one. “A woman scorned” has been in use since at least the 1600’s. William Congreve scripted in his play The Mourning Bride: "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.”

This line morphed into common parlance as “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” It has been a popular staple in culture and the arts ever since.

Some of the first movies ever made employed this theme. Between 1911 and 1915 there were four silent “moving pictures” made with the title “A Woman Scorned”. This was before there were even “talkies”.

Fast forward to present day. “Fatal Attraction” is perhaps the most famous “woman scorned” film. Glen Close’s character is a mistress who gets dumped and wreaks scary revenge.

A Woman Scorned: The Betty Broderick Story is a true crime drama about a woman who killed her husband and his new, young wife in the ‘80’s. This is a rare case of a mother turning violent after being left by her husband. An exculpatory factor was that her children had been taken away from her completely via Family Court which made her severely depressed. Importantly, as vindictive as she was for her husband leaving her for a younger woman, she never got violent with her children to get revenge on him for that.

Nor does any woman in any “scorned woman” dramas. That simply is not a thing. Women do not harm or murder children to get back at exes. Men do. This truth is ignored and superseded by the vindictive woman theme in Family Court.

In our last column, Mom in Hiding Captured in Isolated Stone Hut in Mountain Wilderness, we discussed how “mad or bad” narratives are used against mothers in contested custody cases. Vindictiveness comes under the “bad” part. This false characterization is often weaponized against mothers who report their ex is abusing, especially sexually abusing, their child(ren).

The narrative goes something like this: The mother is vindictive after the divorce and is getting revenge by coaching the children to say the father is abusing them in a malicious effort to get custody and keep the kids away from him.

Because the patriarchal “scorned woman” narrative is so firmly entrenched, it is used and nobody questions it. Mind you, the judge does not really believe that the mother is acting out of revenge. It is simply convenient.

This concept of a vindictive woman fabricating abuse by her ex is a lie encapsulated in a narrative which judges use to switch custody from the “bad” mother to the “good” father.

TAKEAWAY

The majority of fathers who kill their children have histories of abuse or violence, just as Sophie’s ex did. This, along with the fact that men involved in contested custody cases are known to vindictively harm or murder children, should cause judges to order supervised visits, especially when a mother fears for her children’s safety and asks for it.

But they won’t. Patriarchal narratives will continue to be weaponized against mothers. Judges will continue to deem them mad or bad and give the father custody. That is what the Family Court system is designed to do.

That is why Family Court must be shut down and post-separation cases must be heard in a real court—with juries as fact finders, not judges. This is the only thing that will end the Custody Crisis.

Join The Women’s Coalition where we are uniting to gain the power we need to implement that system.

Consider joining Sisters in Solidarity where we are engaging in activism to end the Crisis.

RIP Rowan

CONDOLENCES Sophie

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IN OTHER NEWS

CHAPTER 17 Pt. 2 IS OUT!

“Escape from Accountability” is Chapter 17 of Mother-Fucking: The Saga of One Fucked Mother. [This is Part 2. Part one can be read here.]

In the second part of Chapter 17, Legion muses how psychological theories may help explain Herry’s lazy, greedy, addictive, narcissistic behavior, but should not excuse it. She fears her sons have been poisoned by him modeling this entitled conduct just as he had been by his own autocratic father. She is irked at how husbands and fathers escape accountability for their selfish, neglectful, and abusive behavior, especially in Family Court where similarly empowered judges give them custody despite their terrible parenting history.

In the first part, Herry has moved out as per Legion’s request after discovering his latest affair. She believes that Herry will attempt to deal with his sex addiction so he can come back and be a better husband and father. Unbeknownst to her he has other ideas. Herry uses Alcoholics Anonymous [AA] in his scheme. Legion blasts AA for enabling men like Herry who have sexual addictions, and Al-Anon [Family Groups] for duping wives and keeping them dependent on and deferential to their otherwise addicted and abusive husbands.

Dr. Blue’s novel is based on her own experience of the Custody Crisis. It uniquely conveys how Family Court judges are “mother-fucking” women—a form of systemic violence directed at ex-wives—as protagonist Legion is systematically and methodically deprived of her children and money and reduced to “one fucked mother”.

Chapters are stand-alone interesting so you can begin reading anywhere. A Cast of Characters follows to help readers at any point. All published chapters are included in the Section: “Saga of One F**ked Mother” accessible on the top bar of the home page: Women’s Coalition News & Views. Sequential chapters are published every Wednesday and subscribers will find them in their inboxes, so make sure to subscribe if you haven’t yet!

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