14 Comments
Aug 21, 2022Liked by Womens Coalition International

This ? This is THE MOST ACCURATE ANALYSIS of W H Y mothers such as myself L O S E CUSTODY.

= P A T R I A R C H Y ... ... WORLDWIDE.

Dr Millett's p33 in her Sexual Politics: " The C H I E F Institution of the Patriarchy IS ... ... The Family. "

" Family " " l a w " judges Worldwide EXIST inside their actual JOBS ... ... JUST TO KEEP IN PLACE

... .... the PATRIARCHY.

Please, Please, Losing Mothers, GET T H I S in to your BRAINS. K N O W THIS.

NO amount of $ anywhere. NO amount of praying to ( nonexistent but ) O SO PATRIARCHAL gods. NO amount of " fairness " or your sweet " impartiality " in your language ( " parent " when the abuser is THE sperm sourced - daddee and ALL of his enablers and their K N O W I N G that he is your and the children's actual violent " parent " written or spoken about ) WILL STOP Us Protecting Mamas from LOSING.

IF HE WANTS, THEN HE GETS.

IF HE WANTS i) to stop paying YOU $upport$ for the kiddos and AS, OR MORE, LIKELY, ii) to PUNISH you and EXACT HIS VENGEANCE / REVENGE UPON YOU, THEN ... ... HE GETS Y O U R children.

T H A T is the actual JOB of " family " " law " judges.

So.

JOIN the Women's Coalition. TO WORK FOR ... ... J U R I E S ... ... to decide custody.

Expand full comment

" Uppity and Disobedient Wimminz, " K N O W thus: This is y2022. So.

It is, NOW, O K A Y for you, Mothers, to BE ( upon Facebook and EVERYWHERE

ELSE ) A N G R Y, ... ... not just " sad " or " saddening, " upon such statements

and posts that actually, and IN REALITY, A R E to and for and against Us All

... ... A N G E R I N G. KNOW thus, Women.

Expand full comment

The most logical and appropriate response to abuse is anger. You have the right

to get angry and to stay angry for as long as you want,

This concept of anger as a positive, healing force contradicts most beliefs.

We women and girls have been told over and over and over by family and friends

to get over it, to let it go, to move on and away from it, to get to the forgiveness - deal.

NO. DENOUNCE, RENOUNCE and SHUN those who have engendered this ... ... YOUR anger.

AND KEEP IT. FOR AS LONG AS YOU WANT.

An older article but so, so helpful. AND NOTA BENE Dr SAFER's last name:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/199907/must-you-forgive

Dr Blue Maas

Expand full comment

Huh?

Expand full comment

O, Jebus Crikey, Ms Julie. G E T it. ANGER is FUCKING ... ... JUSTIFIED.

STOP with the " sad " / with the " saddening. " T O U G H E N th' 'ell UP. Fight.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1011814436174378

Expand full comment

Request pending,

what does all this mean? -

O, Jebus Crikey, Ms Julie. G E T it. ANGER is FUCKING ... ... JUSTIFIED. STOP with the " sad " / with the " saddening. " T O U G H E N th' 'ell UP. Fight.

Are you telling me to stop with acting sad and toughen the hell up? I really hope not because everyone that actually knows what I’ve been through has told me they would be in prison or dead if they were In my shoes, if that was really what you just said to me, you have no idea who you are talking to or what you are talking about.

Expand full comment
Aug 22, 2022Liked by Womens Coalition International

Thank u! This is spot on & a thorough analysis of the misunderstandings of why mothers lose custody. Its clear and should be to everyone when u look at the misogyny! Misogyny IS the problem. But I think so many ppl have internalized sexist beliefs about women that they are unable to see this.

Expand full comment

This whole equal access to justice farce is to blame. There is no equal access to justice across the board on all issues, family court is just one of them. If I had the resources my ex had at his disposal I’d be in his position now…. And by resources I don’t just mean money, I mean human capital, the man is a con man who manipulates everyone and took advantage of some unfortunate circumstances with a falling out I had with family members. The surest way to lose in one of these situations is to go it alone, no lawyer, no witnesses, no friends / family to back anything up or vouch for you. Unfortunately this is a common theme in domestic violence situations, women more often than not are the victims and the men abusing them have years of experience doing whatever they can to isolate, gaslight and manipulate and by the time a custody battle ensues the stage is set for someone that is already vulnerable from all the abuse and mental and emotional trauma to struggle to present their side of things…, victims don’t have the resources to fight, the support system, yes access to money would greatly help, but without any people backing you up, the man can use every lying witness to his advantage with no one else’s words but yours to try and say different, this won’t be enough to convince a judge. Any trauma survivor in this situation will struggle to keep it together, to not be emotionally triggered, without a lawyer they won’t even know how to submit evidence or do any number of things necessary to represent and advocate for themselves. In these cases it is critical to have credible believable witnesses and supports backing up their side of the story. Without that, the winner is already called from the get go, the rest is a given. If anything, for me, what would have helped, would have been meeting other woman believing in supporting other each other in this cause, to meet my peers and have them in my life to be real life support, to be my witness when I had my calls with my son so that I had someone to attest to the reality against the lies my ex and his new girlfriend alleged,

To have a friend that understood what I was going through, cared and was willing to make time for me, to accompany me to court as a support, act as a witness to what was in fact going on. To try and warn me about what could happen and give me any advice they might have had and mostly to validate my reality and let me know that I wasn’t alone…. I don’t know about everyone else, but that would have actually helped me, I think, at least it would have helped make it so it wasn’t so traumatic. It would have at least been better if I didn’t feel like I was so alone in all of it…

Expand full comment

Can we create a conference where women from around the world can meet? We need to support each other through this tragedy. My three year old son was given to his violent pedophile father. His father stopped me seeing him for two years. My son is now a zombie and is constantly dissociating

Expand full comment

Count me in! We can at least start with an online group, even a Facebook page and have zoom support group meetings. Something, I hate feeling so isolated in all of this!!

Expand full comment

I learnt a very good lesson today. The system wants to train us and our children that we are helpless. We either get along with the abusers or lose our children to the abusers. We have to teach ourselves that we are not helpless. We have to teach our children they are not helpless. With the strength of God and joining together we need to fight this disgusting system and fight these disgusting abusers.

Expand full comment

I say form your own courts and bypass the courts all together. That will give them a proper scare. We had hoards of women being murdered in South Africa #SayHerName. That these men used for their target practice. We were not privy nor did we have access to the internet as they did and do. This is why it was a surprise attack and these predators put themselves in a position of power to gain access to the children. Afterall, they pay £36 000-00 for a child in the UK. Adrenochrome, these actors and actress's who want to stay young and look good, using the childrens blood to replace their own with their lavish, expensive, drunken lifestyle.

Expand full comment

gods = patriarchs Worldwide.

PURPOSEFULLY. = The CHIEF institution of the PATRIARCHY IS ... ... the FAMILY.

GET REAL, Mothers. The ACTUAL J O B of A N Y " family " " law " JUDGE Worldwide

( any gender thereof ) IS ... ... TO KEEP IN PLACE = the PATRIARCHY.

JOIN the Women's Coalition. W O R K for .JURIES. to make custody decisions.

UNITE to FIGHT = https://www.facebook.com/groups/1011814436174378

Else ? Else gods and patriarchies Worldwide .W I L L. continue. We Women .W I L L. LOSE.

Expand full comment