Down the Rights & Laws Rabbit Hole

Neither Rights nor Laws Is the Problem

The Rights & Laws Rabbit Hole is the fourth in our series. It is one of the many rabbit holes women fall into when searching for the reason they lost custody, were unable to protect their children, and/or were financially devastated in Family Court. The first three were covered in previous WCN&V columns: the Abuse, Money, and Alienation Rabbit Holes.

The purpose of the Custody Crisis Rabbit Holes series is to shed light on ways women are being diverted from understanding and fighting the true cause of the Crisis. It is important women recognize and avoid these pitfalls so they are clear about what has happened to them, can help other women understand what has happened to them, and unite in the fight to eliminate the real culprit: systemic entitling and empowering of men in the family and the resultant oppression & disempowerment of women.

Rights and laws are similar beasts, inherently intertwined. Human and civil rights are recognized and promoted by international bodies like the United Nations, as well as country and state constitutions. They are encoded into federal and state laws so as to have a practical effect.

Let’s take a look at the relevant rights and laws separately and then at how neither helps when it comes to the three-pronged Post-Separation Crisis of women losing custody, being unable to protect their children, and being financially devastated.

THE RIGHTS OFFSHOOT

Some women focus attention, blame, and activism on theirs or their children’s rights. It is indisputable both are being violated routinely in Family Court.

Both women and children have substantial rights, recognized nationally and internationally. Some are documented in various United Nations declarations, treaties and conventions, as well as State Constitutions. These rights are supposedly made effective through entry into federal and state statutes.

Children have a right to live a safe and healthy childhood and to no longer be considered male property, for fathers to do with them what they please, as had been the case ever since patriarchy took hold. This right has unequivocal consensus in all democratic countries and is often coded as the “best interests of the child”. It is not that judges don’t know custody to an abusive father is not in the child’s best interest; it’s that they are lying about mothers being the unfit or abusive parent.

Women’s right to due process of law is violated when judges minimize, disregard and conceal negative evidence about fathers and falsely deem mothers liars or mentally ill without credible evidence. This wrongful crediting of men and discrediting of women is a form of discrimination against women and, hence, violates their right to be free of gender discrimination.

Taking children away from mothers is also a violation of their right to be free from oppression and comes under Article 5 of the UN Declaration of Human Rights: No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.

Interestingly, rights that have not been documented by the male-created UN treaties, are women’s within the family, in their role as wives/partners and mothers, arguably the most important to women. This is where the patriarchal underbelly of the UN shows. Rule on human rights, sure, but don’t mess with men’s power in the family.

Predictably, the Declaration of Human Rights says only that “motherhood and childhood are entitled to special care and assistance”. But that has no practical value and reeks of the ancient bargain: men will protect women who get with the patriarchal program and marry them, bear them children, cook and clean, and don’t sleep around.

But women can take care of themselves now, thankfully, and do not need protection by men from men. That bargain is moot. Women now need the recognition that motherhood automatically brings with it the right to maternal power—the power to maintain their primary bond with their children and protect them.

Not that that would do any good in Family Court. Women already have substantial rights which are being violated, so even if women are bequeathed more or stronger rights in the family, it won’t make any difference. Because neither rights, nor the lack thereof, is why women are losing custody and unable to protect children.

So, fighting for new rights will not make any difference and complaining about rights they already have being violated is a waste of energy. That is unless it is done in the context of the larger fight: against the system which permits judges to violate their rights.

THE LAWS OFFSHOOT

The Laws offshoot of this rabbit hole is by far the most populated. Women everywhere are being drawn down into it, misled into thinking that this new law or that will stop judges from taking and endangering their children.

The most common laws being promoted by the PPO’s [protective parent organizations] have to do with child abuse, stating in one form or another that judges must prioritize child safety. Others address domestic violence, judicial and extra-judicial training, regulation of court-appointed children’s attorneys and mental health professionals, and limiting or banning the use of parental alienation.

Murdered children have been used as a basis for ever more child safety laws. Elements of the other categories are often included in these laws, pinned beneath child safety, since the irresistible hook for public and legislator support is a recently murdered child. The latest iteration of the U.S. Violence against Women Act incorporated one of these murdered-child laws, and another one is sitting on California Governor Newsom’s desk as we speak.

The premise of all of this agitating for new laws is that judges either don’t realize they are wrongly taking children from good mothers and giving them to abusive and self-serving fathers and so need training; or, if they do, there are not enough, or strong enough, laws to stop them from doing so. But that has not borne out.

For decades, laws have been passed addressing these issues and solutions but none has ever worked. Judges have continued apace at switching custody to fathers. It is insanity to think that doing the same thing over and over will come up with a different result. This just wastes mothers’ time and gives them false hope—that this law will work this time. And by the time it is clear that that law is not working, those mothers’ children have aged out of the system and they are no longer active. A new batch of mothers enters the scene and have no idea the earlier, nearly identical laws didn’t work, so they become active in promoting them.

In fact, the only reason lawmakers take on these laws is precisely because they won’t work. The OBN [old boy network] would not let them get out of committee if there were any chance these laws would interfere with judges’ power to entitle and empower fathers.

RIGHTS & LAWS NOT THE PROBLEM

What is clear at the present time, with decades and decades of women’s lived and documented experiences behind us, is that the problem is not Rights or Laws. Women and children have substantial Rights, and there are copious, redundant laws that prioritize children’s safety and well-being.

Most mothers are well aware that judges are deliberately disregarding and concealing negative evidence about their ex and falsely accusing them of lying or alienating, or being mentally ill or emotionally abusive, to justify switching custody. Promising mothers that new laws requiring judges to be trained and prioritize child safety will work seems a lot like gaslighting. Of course new laws will not make a difference if judges are concealing proof of men’s abuse and unfitness.

Due process for women and safety for children have already been encompassed in rights and law, ever since women gained the right to divorce and custody. Agitating against violations of rights or for new laws will not help.

It is time for women to, finally, recognize the truth: the Family Court system is designed specifically so judges have the power to violate laws and rights so as to continue male power and control in the family. That system is what needs to be eliminated. More and stronger rights and laws are useless. Just another rabbit hole that women should avoid.

Although not a perfect solution since patriarchy underpins virtually all systems to some extent, women will have much more power to maintain custody, protect their children, and retain financial security in a regular civil court with the right to a jury trial.

Join The Women’s Coalition to fight to eliminate the Family Court system.

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