Family court was created to give men power and control. Family court judges have the power to do so. They endanger children. Family court judges are not punished. They are rewarded with increased power and status. Women are powerless in family court. They have no enforceable rights. Family court judges intentionally give children to abusers. They falsely find loving mothers unfit. Facts and evidence don't matter. Laws and training programs don't help. New laws and new training programs won't make a difference. Family court judges know what they're doing. Women and children are defenseless in family court. It was intentionally constructed to keep men in control of their families after divorce. Women and children have no protection in family court. We need a new system. A jury would give women and children a chance at justice. Family court must end.
I read this today after crying all day and remembering what I experienced in court and years of missing my child. I carry it well around others, but ot weighs so heavy still. Today was one of those days I just sat angry, writing, and crying, remembering, remembering the events, the extreme gaslighting, the repeated failures, the multiple mandated reporters who failed to report and left me further vulnerable to family court (not that it would have changed crap anyway and there was many mandated reporters who did). I thought today about the many times I considered taking my own life because of the things they made me believe through repeated gaslighting. If multiple professionals tell you that you are bad and crazy in family court process, the common denominator is you, and you must be crazy, right? You must be some evil person if they say so, right? Wrong and it almost cost me my life many times as I struggled to climb out of the darkness after they back me onto the ledge of the pit.
I cried hard today. It has been a while. I read this after all day of crying. Sometimes it feels like someone trying to give me a hug and say I see you and you are not crazy. You did experience that and your memories are valid. It does happen and it is insane. It should not happen, but it does in high levels.
The crazy part was for me is people or family court, who try to say I did it for custody. I had sole physical and legal, signed off on an order, for long while, and had everything to lose as I filed that complaint like any good parent should. I did what I was supposed to do as a good parent. I walked away without my child at the end of the battle and zero amount of any custody and silenced by a threat of spending time imprisoned I did not speaking up about abuse. I was to be quiet or spend who knows how long in a cement cell with probably no windows, like a criminal. A criminal, for believing my child and taking steps to protect them as any sane and good parent would.
I have not seen or felt my childs hug or laughter in years. It almost took my life many times and I keep fighting. I read these articles and watch new players, new parents stumbling through the experience, and I feel a mix of validation and numbness mixed with sadness and anger. I have some resentment inside as I grumble it doesnt matter anyway and wont change to myself. Ignore that part and understand it is just part of a mixed bag of emotions that is normal to being so traumatized and revictimized by court system.
These articles for me serve as validation and somewhere a delusional glimmer of hope like the daydream
of karma and justice raining down on him. One day I whisper at times to myself. One day, it will happen one day. Sometimes the justice dream isnt about me specifically and it spreads to future mothers and victims going through this, like Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I have a dream.” I have a dream similar to his, where mothers and children can be freed from injustices, the oppression and dysregulation of family family court and their abusers, and women are treated as equals. That victims and of domestic violence and their children, can be free from their shackles that bind them to their oppressors. I dream of when we no longer have to be confused and when they say jump, we have to say “how high, I am
mentally ill, and do not know.” I dream of when a mother can say I am trying to get safety from domestic violence from the biological father and not be given an unwarranted, mentally ill diagnosis.
These articles serve as a reminder to me, that I am not crazy and I DID go through the extreme mistreatment by family court.
I feel like I have aged 30 years in the last five. I have stumbled to get up, crawled when I could not find a way, and laid there unmoving for hours when I became immobilized by the trauma handed to me as an early Christmas present from family court that shopped together with my abuser to give it to me.
I am ever so grateful that I did push through the darkness and am here today to break down crying all day. At least I am
still here to cry.
I remember today watching child service workers lying and refusing to disclose abuse disclosures to make me the bad person. How does a child service worker get away with lying and I remember the professional that acknowledged it, but allowed it and stated they did not want to get involved. Me either.
I remember the extreme gaslighting and brainwashing attempt of trying to repeatedly get me to stop believing my child. I still believe to this day and go over everything in a loop in my brain over the years. I know they were telling the truth and I know I did not make them say it or make it up. There were so many others that heard it and reported. It was not just me, but I remember the SECOND child service worker repeatedly stating the reports only come from mom, as if I was nuts and vindictive. I am not those things. This is not me. I remember them refusing to let me do group therapy with the mothers that refuse to believe their children. I was not allowed to join them
until I stopped believing my child. What kind of crock of crap is that? You will not hold me hostage family court. I experienced and saw so many things that turn my stomach when I recall them.
Sometimes I will gaslight myself so hard, that I have to pull put a piece of paper to bring myself back to reality. This single paper stating your child has been abused.
It whispers you are not crazy and then I loudly hear the shout of the person who wrote that paper, WAKE UP! This child needs you, it happened! WAKE UP! Snap out of it!
I remember the horrible moment I snapped at my own child, which I had not done in all the years I raised them from the time they were born, after years of family court and psychological abuse and gaslighting, I snapped at my poor child and asked the worst thing I regret, are you lying? This is what family court did to me. Are you lying? I actually asked my own child that after many rounds with family court. I knew my child was not lying. They were too young to even fabricate something so detailed in knowledge they do not have and the long time frame of responses to it. They cannot do it in their sleep. I watched them in their sleep when
they reacted to it. I know they were not lying. I know they went through the horrific things they said they did. I know he struck them and physically assaulted them like they said. Why would I let family court make me second guess that?
Days like today, I just want to fall asleep and lose this part of my life I was granted. Just give away today and sleep through it. Instead, I sat and cried all day while remembering and going over the players and their violations. I remember. Days like today haunt me because I ask myself what if I am
upset this upset because my childs being abused and I can feel it. It happened onve before amd I could not explain why I was so angry and for so long that night. I found out later why during my child’s disclosures. It was a night they were assaulted and somehow some way I just knew. It was a night she was crying she wanted to come home and he angrily put me down saying no and how stupid I was for suggesting, that Im overreacting for wanting to pick her up. A good parent would let their child. Something was wrong and I was not okay after that call as I had been earlier when angry. I knew something was wrong. I never forget those moments and they still haunt me. They do hang around like ghosts around Halloween. I cannot get rid of them. I cannot find peace until my child gets justice and justice is served to him. It will not be happening and he will probably live a long life free from
the consequences of what he did, looking like an angel. I know the truth.
I often wonder why and how the other mothers see their children. No one should have to pay all their wages to see their children a couple hours a month and listen to them as the abuser comes out of their mouth repeatedly. They morph into the abuser, just like him, and after being alone with only him for so long, they are morphing into him. It is not their fault, this is what abusers do.
I hope all the people involved that lied and helped my abuser receive custody, face repeated karma served to them. The ones who refused to help when I lie to myself and tell myself it might have made a difference if they did. It never really mattered. My poor child was always going to be forced to live isolated with their abuser and taken from everything they knew and loved. A complete upheaval of their life, just because they disclosed abuse. My child should have never been punished for disclosing abuse. They punished my child so many times. Why? My child did not do anything wrong either.
Having to hear my child cry begging me to come home and for me to take then home as I am forced to force them to let go of me… it was some of the worst things I had to do in my life. No one should have to do that. I remember my child refusing to see their father and me physically having to remove them from my house to take them to see him. I remember them telling me they hated me after they were alone in car away from the social workers earshot. They hated me…. I tricked them they said. I did not, the social workers did and forced me to make them go see him.
I never would have forced my child to see an abuser, but I was because it was the person that gave some DNA to make them. Abusers are not parents and they do not love their children. They see them as property or a tool of punishment for the other parent. That is not a parent.
I grieve all the moments with my child I will never have and missed and thanks to my abuser, I will never have with any child. That experience for me was taken away. My child lost all those ones with me. They grieve mothers day, as if I am dead and gone. No child deserves that and I am
not some bad person who deserves that. The only thing I did report abuse and go through steps to get my child safety. I cannot come up with how that makes me a bad person and bad parent where I had to miss all those moments.
I smile at the thought of my child maybe soon serving up their own recipe of justice to their abuser. Maybe they will be their own hero in their story when many of us were not allowed to be. Their mom should be their hero and not prevented from keeping them safe. I taught my child to keep away from adults who made them feel unsafe and I was forced to hand them over to someone they kept saying abuses them and a person that abuses me too. Why did that happen? Why was this our fate and why are we not together?
Why did I not run when he was in jail and disappear? I hate myself some moments for not doing that. I know how that ends anyway.
Some days I wish I never had a child, but only because I would not want them to go through what they did and still are. That was never supposed to be their life and it wasnt until he came out of jail. They had such a good early childhood with me. I am grateful for that time and those memories. My heart breaks for my child. They should not have to be without me. The years go by quickly enough and one day, one day I know, they will be free from their abuser, one way or another.
One day they will be free.
I am sorry my child. This should never have been what happened. I am sorry you drew the abusive father stick from the pick. It is not your fault. It is not my fault even if I sometimes blame myself. I did the best I could with knowledge I had.
I feel so sick after writing this. Why do they get to be free and live among others, free from consequence and from anyone to be able to stop them from abusing? Why does the system help them and enable them in their abuse? Why does the system abuse us like our abuser does? It is just a load of bullies high fiving each other.
For me, one of the worst things is that it involved so many women to mistreatment me and my child and help an abuser. That is a tough pill to choke down… women. A couple of women failed me and my daughter and helped an abuser. To process that is so hard. THIRTEEN women involved, who failed my daughter, and helped an abuser….THIRTEEN… I just realized the irony given my breakdown was on October 13 and I sit crying writing this. I count them all one by one on my fingers, asking myself did I miss anyone? THIRTEEN women… How…? Why…? Why???!!!! How does that even happen??? One of the sad parts is that a male judge did believe us and did his job correctly only to overthrown by these couple of women in family court helping the abuser. We almost had peace, healing, and safety. For only a short time, we had it legally given to us, by a male judge nonetheless. I hope good things come to him as he is a good man and judge. He did what he was supposed to.
After counting how many women are responsible for what happened to me and my child, it is so hard to accept as reality.
I can relate. I'm so sorry you and your child have to go through this. Our children are amazing blessings but yet we hurt so much for bringing them into this hell that WE DID NOT create, but breaks our heart. love and hugs sent your way.
I'm reading the woman's coalition emails on my (newly subscribed) TikTok, I've reach out to various avenues to help us get heard. I am trying ladies, alongside more women. We can all do our part. sending so much love out to each and every one of you.
Family court was created to give men power and control. Family court judges have the power to do so. They endanger children. Family court judges are not punished. They are rewarded with increased power and status. Women are powerless in family court. They have no enforceable rights. Family court judges intentionally give children to abusers. They falsely find loving mothers unfit. Facts and evidence don't matter. Laws and training programs don't help. New laws and new training programs won't make a difference. Family court judges know what they're doing. Women and children are defenseless in family court. It was intentionally constructed to keep men in control of their families after divorce. Women and children have no protection in family court. We need a new system. A jury would give women and children a chance at justice. Family court must end.
I read this today after crying all day and remembering what I experienced in court and years of missing my child. I carry it well around others, but ot weighs so heavy still. Today was one of those days I just sat angry, writing, and crying, remembering, remembering the events, the extreme gaslighting, the repeated failures, the multiple mandated reporters who failed to report and left me further vulnerable to family court (not that it would have changed crap anyway and there was many mandated reporters who did). I thought today about the many times I considered taking my own life because of the things they made me believe through repeated gaslighting. If multiple professionals tell you that you are bad and crazy in family court process, the common denominator is you, and you must be crazy, right? You must be some evil person if they say so, right? Wrong and it almost cost me my life many times as I struggled to climb out of the darkness after they back me onto the ledge of the pit.
I cried hard today. It has been a while. I read this after all day of crying. Sometimes it feels like someone trying to give me a hug and say I see you and you are not crazy. You did experience that and your memories are valid. It does happen and it is insane. It should not happen, but it does in high levels.
The crazy part was for me is people or family court, who try to say I did it for custody. I had sole physical and legal, signed off on an order, for long while, and had everything to lose as I filed that complaint like any good parent should. I did what I was supposed to do as a good parent. I walked away without my child at the end of the battle and zero amount of any custody and silenced by a threat of spending time imprisoned I did not speaking up about abuse. I was to be quiet or spend who knows how long in a cement cell with probably no windows, like a criminal. A criminal, for believing my child and taking steps to protect them as any sane and good parent would.
I have not seen or felt my childs hug or laughter in years. It almost took my life many times and I keep fighting. I read these articles and watch new players, new parents stumbling through the experience, and I feel a mix of validation and numbness mixed with sadness and anger. I have some resentment inside as I grumble it doesnt matter anyway and wont change to myself. Ignore that part and understand it is just part of a mixed bag of emotions that is normal to being so traumatized and revictimized by court system.
These articles for me serve as validation and somewhere a delusional glimmer of hope like the daydream
of karma and justice raining down on him. One day I whisper at times to myself. One day, it will happen one day. Sometimes the justice dream isnt about me specifically and it spreads to future mothers and victims going through this, like Martin Luther King Jr.’s “I have a dream.” I have a dream similar to his, where mothers and children can be freed from injustices, the oppression and dysregulation of family family court and their abusers, and women are treated as equals. That victims and of domestic violence and their children, can be free from their shackles that bind them to their oppressors. I dream of when we no longer have to be confused and when they say jump, we have to say “how high, I am
mentally ill, and do not know.” I dream of when a mother can say I am trying to get safety from domestic violence from the biological father and not be given an unwarranted, mentally ill diagnosis.
These articles serve as a reminder to me, that I am not crazy and I DID go through the extreme mistreatment by family court.
I feel like I have aged 30 years in the last five. I have stumbled to get up, crawled when I could not find a way, and laid there unmoving for hours when I became immobilized by the trauma handed to me as an early Christmas present from family court that shopped together with my abuser to give it to me.
I am ever so grateful that I did push through the darkness and am here today to break down crying all day. At least I am
still here to cry.
I remember today watching child service workers lying and refusing to disclose abuse disclosures to make me the bad person. How does a child service worker get away with lying and I remember the professional that acknowledged it, but allowed it and stated they did not want to get involved. Me either.
I remember the extreme gaslighting and brainwashing attempt of trying to repeatedly get me to stop believing my child. I still believe to this day and go over everything in a loop in my brain over the years. I know they were telling the truth and I know I did not make them say it or make it up. There were so many others that heard it and reported. It was not just me, but I remember the SECOND child service worker repeatedly stating the reports only come from mom, as if I was nuts and vindictive. I am not those things. This is not me. I remember them refusing to let me do group therapy with the mothers that refuse to believe their children. I was not allowed to join them
until I stopped believing my child. What kind of crock of crap is that? You will not hold me hostage family court. I experienced and saw so many things that turn my stomach when I recall them.
Sometimes I will gaslight myself so hard, that I have to pull put a piece of paper to bring myself back to reality. This single paper stating your child has been abused.
It whispers you are not crazy and then I loudly hear the shout of the person who wrote that paper, WAKE UP! This child needs you, it happened! WAKE UP! Snap out of it!
I remember the horrible moment I snapped at my own child, which I had not done in all the years I raised them from the time they were born, after years of family court and psychological abuse and gaslighting, I snapped at my poor child and asked the worst thing I regret, are you lying? This is what family court did to me. Are you lying? I actually asked my own child that after many rounds with family court. I knew my child was not lying. They were too young to even fabricate something so detailed in knowledge they do not have and the long time frame of responses to it. They cannot do it in their sleep. I watched them in their sleep when
they reacted to it. I know they were not lying. I know they went through the horrific things they said they did. I know he struck them and physically assaulted them like they said. Why would I let family court make me second guess that?
Days like today, I just want to fall asleep and lose this part of my life I was granted. Just give away today and sleep through it. Instead, I sat and cried all day while remembering and going over the players and their violations. I remember. Days like today haunt me because I ask myself what if I am
upset this upset because my childs being abused and I can feel it. It happened onve before amd I could not explain why I was so angry and for so long that night. I found out later why during my child’s disclosures. It was a night they were assaulted and somehow some way I just knew. It was a night she was crying she wanted to come home and he angrily put me down saying no and how stupid I was for suggesting, that Im overreacting for wanting to pick her up. A good parent would let their child. Something was wrong and I was not okay after that call as I had been earlier when angry. I knew something was wrong. I never forget those moments and they still haunt me. They do hang around like ghosts around Halloween. I cannot get rid of them. I cannot find peace until my child gets justice and justice is served to him. It will not be happening and he will probably live a long life free from
the consequences of what he did, looking like an angel. I know the truth.
I often wonder why and how the other mothers see their children. No one should have to pay all their wages to see their children a couple hours a month and listen to them as the abuser comes out of their mouth repeatedly. They morph into the abuser, just like him, and after being alone with only him for so long, they are morphing into him. It is not their fault, this is what abusers do.
I hope all the people involved that lied and helped my abuser receive custody, face repeated karma served to them. The ones who refused to help when I lie to myself and tell myself it might have made a difference if they did. It never really mattered. My poor child was always going to be forced to live isolated with their abuser and taken from everything they knew and loved. A complete upheaval of their life, just because they disclosed abuse. My child should have never been punished for disclosing abuse. They punished my child so many times. Why? My child did not do anything wrong either.
Having to hear my child cry begging me to come home and for me to take then home as I am forced to force them to let go of me… it was some of the worst things I had to do in my life. No one should have to do that. I remember my child refusing to see their father and me physically having to remove them from my house to take them to see him. I remember them telling me they hated me after they were alone in car away from the social workers earshot. They hated me…. I tricked them they said. I did not, the social workers did and forced me to make them go see him.
I never would have forced my child to see an abuser, but I was because it was the person that gave some DNA to make them. Abusers are not parents and they do not love their children. They see them as property or a tool of punishment for the other parent. That is not a parent.
I grieve all the moments with my child I will never have and missed and thanks to my abuser, I will never have with any child. That experience for me was taken away. My child lost all those ones with me. They grieve mothers day, as if I am dead and gone. No child deserves that and I am
not some bad person who deserves that. The only thing I did report abuse and go through steps to get my child safety. I cannot come up with how that makes me a bad person and bad parent where I had to miss all those moments.
I smile at the thought of my child maybe soon serving up their own recipe of justice to their abuser. Maybe they will be their own hero in their story when many of us were not allowed to be. Their mom should be their hero and not prevented from keeping them safe. I taught my child to keep away from adults who made them feel unsafe and I was forced to hand them over to someone they kept saying abuses them and a person that abuses me too. Why did that happen? Why was this our fate and why are we not together?
Why did I not run when he was in jail and disappear? I hate myself some moments for not doing that. I know how that ends anyway.
Some days I wish I never had a child, but only because I would not want them to go through what they did and still are. That was never supposed to be their life and it wasnt until he came out of jail. They had such a good early childhood with me. I am grateful for that time and those memories. My heart breaks for my child. They should not have to be without me. The years go by quickly enough and one day, one day I know, they will be free from their abuser, one way or another.
One day they will be free.
I am sorry my child. This should never have been what happened. I am sorry you drew the abusive father stick from the pick. It is not your fault. It is not my fault even if I sometimes blame myself. I did the best I could with knowledge I had.
I feel so sick after writing this. Why do they get to be free and live among others, free from consequence and from anyone to be able to stop them from abusing? Why does the system help them and enable them in their abuse? Why does the system abuse us like our abuser does? It is just a load of bullies high fiving each other.
For me, one of the worst things is that it involved so many women to mistreatment me and my child and help an abuser. That is a tough pill to choke down… women. A couple of women failed me and my daughter and helped an abuser. To process that is so hard. THIRTEEN women involved, who failed my daughter, and helped an abuser….THIRTEEN… I just realized the irony given my breakdown was on October 13 and I sit crying writing this. I count them all one by one on my fingers, asking myself did I miss anyone? THIRTEEN women… How…? Why…? Why???!!!! How does that even happen??? One of the sad parts is that a male judge did believe us and did his job correctly only to overthrown by these couple of women in family court helping the abuser. We almost had peace, healing, and safety. For only a short time, we had it legally given to us, by a male judge nonetheless. I hope good things come to him as he is a good man and judge. He did what he was supposed to.
After counting how many women are responsible for what happened to me and my child, it is so hard to accept as reality.
AI, me too…
I can relate. I'm so sorry you and your child have to go through this. Our children are amazing blessings but yet we hurt so much for bringing them into this hell that WE DID NOT create, but breaks our heart. love and hugs sent your way.
https://youtu.be/vrFGkkX52nM?si=rqLiH4FtDBW4wYJJ pedophiles get away with murder
I'm reading the woman's coalition emails on my (newly subscribed) TikTok, I've reach out to various avenues to help us get heard. I am trying ladies, alongside more women. We can all do our part. sending so much love out to each and every one of you.