Mom Dies Following Years of Judicial Torture
Judge Took Children, Home, Money
Yet another wonderful mother has met an untimely death following years of torture by a Family Court judge.
Terra, a 37 year-old mother of two young children, was in the midst of fighting to regain custody and protect her young children when she was found dead in her home last week.
The cause of death has not been made public.
Terra was suffering after having lost custody and being restricted to supervised visitation and Facetime calls with her children. She, like so many mothers, was struggling with the realization that she may never see her children in any normal or meaningful way again.
Being subjected to such abusive commentary over the course of time has left me scared, fearful, and questioning whether I will ever truly communicate or see my children again under any circumstance.
Cruel, unfair, and oppressive treatment of women in family courts around the world, along with the systemic entitling and empowering of men to continue abuse, not uncommonly ends in the deaths of mothers and children.
This court’s orders have left him holding all the cards and he has never missed an opportunity to use this control to emotionally abuse and torture me.
RESTRAINING ORDER
In December of 2018, Terra called 911 after her husband violently assaulted her, physically and sexually. When the police arrived, they took pictures of her injuries and the blood from her wounds and questioned witnesses. An Emergency Protective Order [EPO] was issued on the spot. A criminal case was opened, but it does not appear there was an indictment, despite the incontrovertible evidence.
Terra filed for and was granted a Temporary Restraining Order [TRO] in Family Court protecting her children and her. She stated that he had also threatened to kill her multiple times, possessed many guns, and that she was very afraid of him. The hearing to make the TRO permanent was repeatedly continued over the course of the next two and a half years.
Terra received sole custody, with no visitation to the father. This is likely only because of the active police involvement in the case. She eventually stipulated to the children having occasional daytime visits with him.
CUSTODY SWITCH
Nearly two years after Terra was granted the TRO, Judge Lee Gabriel suddenly switched custody to the father at an ex parte hearing—despite the still active restraining order. He restricted her to supervised visitation and Facetime calls.
It is not known on what grounds Gabriel switched custody, but her ex had accused her of drug abuse, which she denied. She, on the other hand, had provided solid evidence of the father’s long-time alcohol and drug abuse, but Gabriel was apparently unconcerned about that.
In May of 2021, Judge Gabriel finally conducted the hearing for the permanent RO and denied it. This vacating of restraining orders against fathers, whether temporary or permanent, is a common occurrence, as spousal violence is routinely minimized in Family Court.
The violence becomes “in the past” and mothers are coerced to “move on” under the threat of loss of custody. This is despite research (and common sense) supporting that fathers who have committed violence against the mother are more likely than not to be violent or abusive to their children.
JUDICIALLY ENABLED ALIENATION
After Terra’s ex received sole custody, he did what abusive fathers often do: attempted to alienate her children from her. And Judge Gabriel, as judges often do, enabled it. [This form of judicial abuse will be exposed in our submission to the UN: see below.]
They need their mom. You’re not going to keep them away from me forever. You’re not going to do it!
Terra said he would constantly manipulate them, putting into their heads that she is bad, dangerous, a liar, and a thief.
He took the opportunity [facetime calls with kids] to degrade, humiliate and insult me.
It was clear the children were in fear of punishment for speaking to me and severely restricted on where and how they could speak to me.
He has used his control over our children to reduce me to an afterthought in their minds…His ultimate goal is for me to quit trying, to disappear from his life and the lives of our children.
Terra said her ex thrived on making her miserable. Alienating her children from her was likely the worst form of torment.
NEW RESTRAINING ORDER DENIED
In September, Terra finally had enough of the verbal abuse, threats, coercive control, and alienation, so she filed for another Restraining order. She attached a video of her ex’s abuse along with an article in the UCLA Women’s Law Journal: How Domestic Violence Batterers Use Custody Proceedings in Family Court to Abuse Victims, and How Courts Can Put a Stop to It.
So Judge Gabriel could not say he didn’t understand abuser tactics. But he denied her the Restraining Order anyway, obviously unconcerned about the harmful effects of the continued abuse and the potential danger posed.
Last month, her ex went ex parte requesting she be evicted from the family home, where she had lived for many years. Judge Gabriel, of course, granted his motion.
It is reprehensible that Judge Gabriel ordered Terra removed from her home so her wealthy ex could move back in with the children. Especially since his abuse caused the divorce in the first place.
Terra’s friend says her ex is an heir and worth around $74 million, so he is obviously capable of buying himself a new house. It appears ousting Terra from her home is just another form of punishment meted out by him and his enabler judge.
Her ex also requested Terra be sanctioned $100K for not moving out of the family home sooner and $100K in attorney’s fees as well. Judge Gabriel had already ordered her to pay $75K for his attorney’s fees. He scheduled a hearing for Tuesday to decide on those financial matters.
But Judge Gabriel will not have the chance on Tuesday to torture Terra more as she is now dead, following all his court enabled abuse.
NO CHILDREN, NO HOME, NO $$
By the time Terra died last week, Judge Gabriel had deprived her of her children, home, and money.
This is how the powers-that-be oppress and destroy women. And in the process irreparably damage children.
SHAME on Judge Lee Gabriel and all the other judges who’ve ravaged women’s and children’s lives.
[We will update on Terra’s cause of death when it is made public.]
RIP Terra
IMPORTANT TAKE AWAY: FOCUS ON SYSTEM(S) NOT ABUSER(S)
Although it is tempting to focus on abusers and the types of abuse they inflict, women need to stay focused on something more important, which Terra’s case exemplifies:
It is Family Court judges who enable fathers’ continued abuse of mothers and children in a system designed to enable it.
To protest “post-separation abuse” without identifying the ultimate cause as Family Court judges both abusing women directly and empowering exes to exact continued abuse, diverts from pursuing an effective solution to the Custody Crisis.
And, although Family Court judges do the main dirty work of giving fathers legal custody and control, it is important to remember the Old Boy Network [OBN] is behind the systemic male entitlement and oppression of women after divorce.
This explains why other systems and professions often collude with Family Court judges to ensure men retain power and control in the family. These include: child protection services, law enforcement, and criminal justice systems, as well as legal, psychiatric/psychological, and medical professions.
If the oppression of women after divorce is to end, we need an entirely new system that provides for women having the ability to maintain custody and protect their children.
IN OTHER NEWS
UN SURVEY: PLEASE COMPLETE
In our last column, “UN Human Rights Council Takes on the Custody Crisis: And You Can Participate!”, we discuss the UN HRC’s call for submissions regarding women losing custody.
The Women’s Coalition will be making a submission and want to include data from a survey of mothers who’ve lost custody or parenting time or have been unable to protect their children in Family Court. We will use the data to show the pattern cases follow and how that supports the Coalition’s position on the cause and solution to the crisis.
It is quick and easy checkboxes and you may remain anonymous. So please take a minute to fill it out. And tell your friends about it…
Thanks to all who’ve already filled it out!
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This is almost identical to my situation…..oh God bless her poor soul
I hate these oppressors with a total hatred! Continuing with you in the fight to bring all children home and get these wretched court co-conspirators locked up. We Will Make No Peace With Oppression by The Porters's Gate!