Sinead's Passing Follows Son's Suicide; Both Follow Judicially-Enabled Alienation

Sadly, Sinead O’Connor, singer extraordinaire and outspoken activist, was found unresponsive in her London home on Wednesday—yet more loss of life stemming from judicially-enabled alienation of mother and child.

Although foul play has been ruled out, the manner of death has not been made public. She may have lost the will to survive. Sinead was struggling with bouts of severe depression caused by her son Shane’s suicide last year at age 17. She was public about her ensuing suicidal ideation and had said she wanted to “follow him”.

Shane’s suicide was surely related to depression resulting from having been taken and alienated from his beloved mother when he was just 11. [More about Shane’s death in a previous column: Sinead O’Connor’s Son Ends His Life: Family Court Likely Caused His Death.]

Whether Sinead ended her own life purposefully or it was accidental or “natural”, it was likely related to the immense suffering inflicted upon her by Family Court giving the father sole custody. Sinead had always been Shane’s primary bond and had done virtually all the caregiving as well.

Sinead had publicly raged at the time about how Shane was being kept away from her and his head filled with lies about her, i.e. alienated from her and her from him—the worst fate for mother/child except death. And that was to come six years later.

Shane’s death in January of last year only compounded existing suffering from having lost him custodially, from which Sinead had never recovered. Just too much anguish for a mother to bear.

Hence, Family Court has culpability in both of their deaths. Ultimately, both were directly or indirectly caused by judicially-enabled alienation of mother and child, which is an epidemic world-wide. The Coalition has heard from thousands of women who’ve suffered incredibly after being alienated from their children.

In our survey, 76% of respondents reported they had been alienated from their children, either directly through court orders or indirectly through the father being permitted to by the judge. 62% of women indicated they had been falsely found to be alienating, which provided the predicate for the judge to enable the switch of custody and, hence, the father’s ability to truly alienate.

In virtually all maternal and child suicides caused by Family Court, alienation is a factor. But these deaths represent just the extreme end of a tsunami of cases in which mothers and children survive the alienation with overt or covert depression.

LOST WITHOUT SHANE

A week before her death, Sinead posted that she was “lost without Shane”.

Shortly before that, she posted with lots of crying emojis:

Been living as undead night creature since [Shane died]. He was the love of my life, the lamp of my soul.

We were one soul in two halves. He was the only person who loved me unconditionally.

#lostmy17yrOldSonToSuicidein2022

The Coalition has followed Sinead’s custody battle from 2017, 18 months after Shane was taken away from her and she began speaking out publicly about it. She bravely wrote an open letter threatening to commit suicide in protest unless their relationship was restored.

If I am not restored to my child…I promise you in the name of God I will become the first Irish citizen to take their life in protest…You’ll have a dead celebrity on your hands, and a lot of explaining to do. I will not go quietly. But I WILL go.

We should never have been separated…You have left me with nothing to lose.

This strategy is shades of the hunger strike, a tradition in Old Ireland. You starve yourself on someone's doorstep until justice is done and restitution is made. A dead body holds accountable the powers-that-be who have inflicted the injustice. Suffragette Alice Paul used a hunger strike while in prison to protest women’s disenfranchisement.

The Coalition publicized Sinead’s letter and quest to have custody returned to her and launched a campaign to the Prime Minister: Sinead O’Connor Threatens Suicide in Open Letter if Son Not Returned.

I reserve my right as a female animal, to fight (and have fought for the last 18 months) like an animal for my child. I have been his mother AND his father all his life. His rock. We should never have been separated. We should have been supported.

The Prime Minister acknowledged receiving our support and expressed sympathy for Sinead, but apparently could do nothing about it. Family Court judges have all the power in custody matters, but, the reality is, the OBN [Old Boy Network] reigns over all.

Another Coalition post a few months after this campaign shows Sinead’s immense distress via a video in which she calls Family Court “a fucking joke”: Sinead O’Connor Calls Family Court a “F***ing Joke” in Tearful FB Video.

Sinead points out that it makes no sense she could have custody of her younger son but not see Shane. It was at this time she went public about how Shane was being told lies and alienated from her. She railed against having to be supervised with her own child whom she had never harmed.

I want and deserve to see my baby Shaney any time we want without anyone breathing down our necks…We should never have been separated.

She clearly states that her separation from Shane was causing her severe depression.

I would never have become so unwell if I had not been kept from my child.

But, of course, Family Court judges do not care at all about mothers or children being depressed or suicidal over the loss of relationship with each other. They care only about power and that means doing the OBN’s bidding: empower and entitle the father.

CANCELED BUT NOT SILENCED

Sinead used her voice for more than just entertainment. She was an activist at heart and spoke out strongly and consistently against human rights abuses worldwide. She often performed at charity concerts.

Her most controversial bit of activism occurred during a performance on Saturday Night Live in 1992. While performing Bob Marley's song "War", she tore up a photograph of Pope John Paul II while saying "Fight the real enemy!" She then dramatically threw the pieces onto the floor.

Sinead was protesting the systemic cover up and enabling of sexual abuse by the Catholic Church. Sinead’s protest contributed to Pope Paul II eventually admitting and apologizing for rampant clergy abuse, but at the time, she was brutally canceled (though that was not a term used back then).

People treated me like shit. They broke my heart.

She was ridiculed, trolled and ostracized, even by her fellow progressives. It was so bad, she moved back to England. This act of courage had greatly damaged her career—but she always insisted she never regretted it.

The Old Boys must have been laughing all the way to their exclusive man clubs. The little Irish upstart who was exposing their abuses of power—particularly their most coveted: child sexual abuse—effectively exiled. And with that, they imparted a message to her female peers: Don’t mess with male entitlements.

But, although Sinead may have been canceled temporarily, she was never silenced. She continued to bring attention, often through controversial means, to gender and racial discrimination, economic inequality, custody injustices, and other important human rights issues.

But just take a moment to think of all the children Sinead may have ultimately saved from sexual abuse through her brave and selfless action on that Saturday Night, at the expense of her career, at the tender age of 26.

THE “MENTAL ILLNESS” TROPE

MSM and alternative media are pointing out that Sinead suffered from mental illness, many calling her “troubled”. This is a blame-the-victim explanation that conveniently distracts from the real reasons she suffered from depression and other trauma symptoms.

Sinead was repeatedly traumatized by physical, sexual, and emotional abuse as a child, both at home and at a Catholic boarding school. She blames both on the Catholic Church’s philosophies and its reign over Ireland and families, hence her anger.

Sinead had been given diagnoses like bipolar and borderline personality disorder, popular ones that serve as gender tropes. These labels divert from the real cause of her symptoms: human-inflicted trauma.

In later years, those diagnoses were discarded and she was said to have “Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder” [C-PTSD], which is caused by repetitive trauma. However, the APA still has not added C-PTSD to the DSM, despite overwhelming evidence that many DSM diagnoses are better classified under it.

There now may be an even better way to approach trauma-related mental health conditions like Sinead’s—by classifying and treating them as “responses” rather illnesses or disorders. Dr. Jessica Taylor, a British psychologist, has just published the Indicative Trauma Impact Manual.

“Rather than lists of disorders and medicalised symptoms, this extensive manual provides information about hundreds of trauma responses, emotions, thoughts, behaviours and experiences that have previously been categorised as illnesses and disorders.”

Perhaps Sinead would not have suffered with false diagnoses for so long if that manual had been available in the ’80’s. But even if Sinead had completely resolved the trauma symptoms originating from her childhood, the ripping of Shane from her life would have surely caused severe trauma responses. There is no escaping that when you lose your child, either in body (death) or spirit (alienated).

UNSUNG HERO

Sinead stood up and fought for what she believed in regardless of the cost, both economic and fame-wise. She said they could bury her, but that she was a seed, so she would rise up again.

They tried to bury me, but they didn’t realise I was a seed.

Sinead spoke out long before the #MeToo movement made it OK to speak out about sexual assault entitlement, providing empathy for survivors. She dared to bring attention to something the Old Boys did not want her to, and her peers at the time did not have the courage to support.

Nobody could silence her, despite mighty efforts to do so. She was unusually strong for having been severely traumatized as a child. What extraordinary courage she displayed despite all the obstacles thrown her way. She was truly amazing.

Sinead is an unsung hero (no pun intended). Let’s now sing her praises.

RIP Sinead

POST-SEPARATION EMPOWERMENT

With all her fame and money, Sinead did not have the power to maintain custody of her own son, whom she had nurtured almost exclusively since birth. In fact, that power she had would give the Old Boys even more satisfaction and glee in taking her down, in disempowering her—from having what she wanted most: her baby. The Ultimate Patriarchal Perk.

Sinead was disempowered, as countless other women are every day around the world in family courts. So let’s continue Sinead’s seed metaphor after her death, in her honor, in pursuit of empowering women.

As much as they try and bury our efforts for post-separation power, we will, like seeds, continue to sprout up everywhere, battling against the injustice—until we take down the sexist Family Court system and replace it with a new, just system.

Rise Up & Take Down Family Court

To that end, we are organizing activists in a new group: Sisters in Solidarity. If you’d like to join us, please read the article Sisters in Solidarity": Empowering Women Post-Separation and fill out this form.

If you have spare time to devote to the cause and want to become a Sister Aide, please fill out this form.

Thanks to everyone who’s already signed up for Sisters in Solidarity. We will be organizing our first get togethers next month. Watch this page for updates.

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