12 Comments
Feb 12, 2023·edited Feb 13, 2023Liked by Womens Coalition International

I canNOT even. NO words.

UTTERLY A N G E R I N G.

Expand full comment
Feb 14, 2023Liked by Womens Coalition International

Cindy, your first sentence is missing the word "ex" after ...abused.

Expand full comment

Heather I’m so terribly sorry. There are no words. I understand your awful journey only too well. I’m thinking of you & Ava.

Expand full comment

I'm sorry for your loss, Heather.

Women and children are denied their rights in family court. Consequently, children are dying. Ava should be alive. Heather should not be suffering. Women do not have the power to protect their children in family court.

Family court judges have an agenda. They ignore evidence unfavorable to fathers and jeopardize the safety of children. Family court judges prevent mothers from protecting their children. Fathers that request custody frequently get custody.

Children have one childhood. Mothers are usually their primary caregivers. Family court judges disregard attachments and disorders. Children are separated from their primary attachment figure and traumatized. Lifelong issues often develop.

Family court judges do not protect children when a father is abusive. When requested by the mother, protective orders usually do not include children. They are often issued to both father and mother. Family court judges don't always allow mothers to take their children into domestic violence shelters. These judges claim that fathers will not necessarily be abusive to children when they were abusive to others. They ignore and seal evaluations that are bad for fathers. Family court judges endanger children.

Family court judges often issue temporary orders to fathers that become permanent. They give fathers unsupervised time with children even when there is evidence of violence. Family court judges give custody to rapists. Commonly, closed door meetings replace trials and transcripts. Expensive attorneys and pro bono attorneys can't or don't help. Attorneys generally go along to get along. Family court judges manipulate circumstances to favor fathers.

Main stream media rarely exposes what is happening in family court. They usually do not name judges. Facts don't always make a difference. The appearance of judicial impropriety has little impact. Agencies that are supposed to help mothers and their children are frequently harmful. Many individuals profit from their grief. Friends and family are not always supportive. Some are complicit with the abuser. Mothers must shine a light on family court.

Patriarchy rules family court. Family court judges have no accountability. Judges that have domestic violence training give custody to fathers. Laws do not stop judges from granting custody to fathers. Family court judges do not always follow law and there is no way to enforce them to do so. Walking into family court is like walking into a hornets' nest. Mothers are often attacked for no reason and punished. They and their children are tormented. Women and children are denied their rights in family court.

Family court judges abuse their power. They often grant custody to fathers that ask for it. Family court is draining and exhausting. Mothers function on fumes with no energy to waste. We must stop spinning our wheels. Fathers are learning from each other. Acknowledging and tackling systemic male entitlement is essential. Obtaining domestic violence training and establishing new laws for judges requires energy. These good intentions do not help and waste time. There are no consequences for family court judges. Family court judges must forfeit their power.

Mothers cannot do it alone. There is strength in numbers. We need to come together and demand an end to systemic male entitlement in family court. The Child Custody Act will give power to a jury. Mothers must take back their power to protect their children.

Expand full comment

Is it any better in states that have abolished "custody" in favor of "parenting plans" or similar concepts? Sixteen states have done so. the California senate rejected this idea in 1989. Since 2008, 86 children whose parents were involved in divorce have been murdered by a parent in California, according to the Center for Judicial Excellence. Next highest number is 35 in New York.Is it any better in states that have abolished "custody" in favor of "parenting plans" or similar concepts? Sixteen states have done so. the California senate rejected this idea in 1989. Since 2008, 86 children whose parents were involved in divorce have been murdered by a parent in California, according to the Center for Judicial Excellence. Next highest number is 35 in New York.

Expand full comment

So sickened for Heather. Question about your claim...according to the most recent data I found (US Census Bureau) the overwhelming majority of kids with divorced parents live with their mothers. Can you link your source? Thank you.

Expand full comment