Family court judges endanger women and children. Loving mothers and their children are often separated. They are forced to suffer. The pain takes an emotional and physical toll. Women are punished. They frequently have their children taken. Many lose their homes and are left penniless. Family court judges often issue restraining orders on both men and women. Family court is about male power and control. Women have no enforceable rights. They are powerless to protect their children. Women are frequently coerced in family court. Children are used. They are considered male property. Family court judges often give child custody to males that request it. It doesn't matter if they're abusive. Facts and evidence make no difference. New laws and training programs won't help. Family court judges can rule how they choose. Their opinion is what matters. They face no consequences. Loving mothers are often falsely deemed unfit. Children are frequently isolated and traumatized. They are alienated from their mothers. The grief women experience often deepens. Mothers become helpless and hopeless. Family court judges must no longer be allowed to abuse their power. A jury would give women and children a chance at justice. Family court must end.
This country has always favored men’s freedoms over women’s except with child rearing. The courts over corrected and are punishing women for standing up to the abuser. How dare we. The myth that women (and children)lie is alive and well. It’s been perpetuated by the patriarchy for decades.
The research clearly states otherwise. But then they don’t believe in research do they?
Let no one ever say again “ hell hath no fury than a woman scorned” when its exactly the opposite. 70 women a month are murdered by domestic partners and that’s just in the US. ALL abusers lie and a minuscule % of women and children lie and of those that recant they do so out of fear for their lives and livelihoods.
And people say we should be grateful we are not living in Afghanistan.
My father violated the custody order, and took me 1600 miles away from my mother. He tried to alienate me from her. I left his house 2 weeks after I turned 18, and before I was 19, got back to my mom. I lived with or near her until she passed away at age 91. I visited him twice before he died, and always had my return ticket in my pocket.
Thank you so much for sharing your end of this, Jodi! And for pressing in and returning to your mama and sticking with her!! I pray you are covered and are certain deep within that it was absolutely not you. Nor her.
This was so painful for me to read. I’ve lived this. I haven’t spoken for 13 years with my (now adult) child who has a family and children. My ex spent years systematically convincing our child that there were so many bad things about me. And, in the end, he convinced our child that I had caused the cancer that eventually took his life because I was a crazy bitch, etc.. He told her so many lies. Because it began at the age of 5 and was endlessly reinforced, there was absolutely no way to defend myself against this cruel abuse of my beloved child.
The most abusive thing a parent can do is sabotage the love of the other parent. Children deserve love from everywhere.
Thank you for advocating so strongly for mothers like myself who are targeted parents of severe DFV and alienation.
Alienation - no matter what term is used is very real and is recognised under the DSM under a number of diagnostic categories- however psychologists are not well educated and trained on these dynamics and hence never apply these diagnoses.
From personal experience severely alienated children suffer enormously. My son has attempted his life many times. Substance abuse, anxiety, depression, lifelong issues with relationships (including an extremely high chance of being alienated from their own children) are some of these harms.
We need to work together to address the harm to all mothers from Family Court and Magistrates courts - not just the ones that fit a neat narrative.
Yes men do falsely claim PA - but that doesn’t mean it isn’t real. Many men also claim that women are physically, verbally and emotionally abusive - but we don’t pretend that these forms of abuse don’t exist.
I want Virginia’s legacy to be one in which these behaviours are exposed and mothers and their children are protected from this catastrophic harm.
I want to push for a full inquest into her death and I have many mothers here in Perth who would be willing to testify on their own experience of these dynamics.
I would also like to say that misidentification by police and particularly in the Magistrate’s Court (where anyone can walk into the MC here in Perth to apply for a FVRO and make up a story without evidence) is in my opinion the biggest problem in our system.
If we cannot correctly identify who is the victim and who is the perpetrator then what kind of system do we have?
If anyone would like to reach out to me my email address is email.mj@me.com (yes the word “email” is part of my email address.
Let’s work together to ensure this system protects ALL women who are being abused including by the weaponisation and alienation of the or children.
The preferred term is CAMS (child and mother sabotage) for actions that abusive fathers take to systematically sabotage the relationship between mother and child.
PA is a fake mental illness that was made up by a child molester to pathologise the actions of a protective mother against an abusive father in the eyes of the family court. It is a tool used by abusers to intentionally perpetrate CAMS in the family courts.
The term parental alienation should not be applied to what male abusers do to women in the family courts.
You’ve been misled. Gardner did not create it; it is a valid concept that has been around for centuries. Just because some jerk 40 years ago misused it and judges are lying about mothers alienating does not mean we should have to stop using it—that is counterproductive. Alienate accurately describes what’s happening, CSAM does not, or DV by proxy or coercive control or any of the other things DAPPs use to replace it. Women should simply say that judges are falsely accusing mothers of alienating and allowing fathers to alienate. The public gets that and women will not be divided into two camps anymore which is bad for our cause. This may help: https://womenscoalition.substack.com/p/the-parental-alienation-rabbit-hole
The most problematic thing about parental alienation is not that it is the go to defense of pedophiles and violent abusers in the family courts and that it is frequently used sucessfuly to separte protective mothers from their children. The most problematic thing about PA is that it frames the actions of the alienating parent in the category of a mental illness, which suggests that the remedy is therapeutic interventions from mental health professionals.
When abusive fathers use the systemic bias agaisnt mothers in the family courts to sabotage the connection between mother and child, they are making a conscious choice to do so. The remedy for that choice is not therapy, the remedy is criminal penalties and reparations.
Now that there's more buzz in the air about anti-mother and child bias in the family courts, the male abusers would love to have their actions refrained as PA-- a mental illness requiring the pedicure intervention-- rather than what it is: criminal act to abbreviate the basic human rights of mother and child. Intolerable cruelty and a depravity of moral values.
Just because it is the go-to defense of pedos does not mean we should toss out the word/concept. That benefits men. They do not want us to say they are alienating our kids because 1) it accurately conveys the terrible truth and the other terms don’t 2) it’s a divide and conquer strategy: some moms want to use it and 3) the public understands alienation which is better for raising awareness and better holds them accountable.
AGAIN: the most problematic thing about alienation is not the word/concept. It is that it is being misused—judges falsely finding mothers to be alienating and allowing fathers to alienate. Not being able to use the word/concept takes power away from women and empowers men.
Hope you can understand the problem is Judges Are Lying---not only about mothers alienating but a whole host of other things too. That is what needs to be stopped via a new system. Dithering about PA will do nothing to end the crisis.
PS: It's not the alienating parent who is said to be mentally ill, it's the child. But it's irrelevant anyway whether it is a diagnosable mental illness or not. It exists---as a verb, adjective and noun: the father is alienating, the child is alienated from the mother and the mother is alienated from her child, and the process is called alienation.
Family court judges endanger women and children. Loving mothers and their children are often separated. They are forced to suffer. The pain takes an emotional and physical toll. Women are punished. They frequently have their children taken. Many lose their homes and are left penniless. Family court judges often issue restraining orders on both men and women. Family court is about male power and control. Women have no enforceable rights. They are powerless to protect their children. Women are frequently coerced in family court. Children are used. They are considered male property. Family court judges often give child custody to males that request it. It doesn't matter if they're abusive. Facts and evidence make no difference. New laws and training programs won't help. Family court judges can rule how they choose. Their opinion is what matters. They face no consequences. Loving mothers are often falsely deemed unfit. Children are frequently isolated and traumatized. They are alienated from their mothers. The grief women experience often deepens. Mothers become helpless and hopeless. Family court judges must no longer be allowed to abuse their power. A jury would give women and children a chance at justice. Family court must end.
This country has always favored men’s freedoms over women’s except with child rearing. The courts over corrected and are punishing women for standing up to the abuser. How dare we. The myth that women (and children)lie is alive and well. It’s been perpetuated by the patriarchy for decades.
The research clearly states otherwise. But then they don’t believe in research do they?
Let no one ever say again “ hell hath no fury than a woman scorned” when its exactly the opposite. 70 women a month are murdered by domestic partners and that’s just in the US. ALL abusers lie and a minuscule % of women and children lie and of those that recant they do so out of fear for their lives and livelihoods.
And people say we should be grateful we are not living in Afghanistan.
My father violated the custody order, and took me 1600 miles away from my mother. He tried to alienate me from her. I left his house 2 weeks after I turned 18, and before I was 19, got back to my mom. I lived with or near her until she passed away at age 91. I visited him twice before he died, and always had my return ticket in my pocket.
Thank you so much for sharing your end of this, Jodi! And for pressing in and returning to your mama and sticking with her!! I pray you are covered and are certain deep within that it was absolutely not you. Nor her.
Absolutely 💯
Family court is a sham. It is a tool of the patriarchy
Yes it is...
💔💔💔💔💔💔😡😡😡😡😡😡
As I suspected! Horrific 💔
This was so painful for me to read. I’ve lived this. I haven’t spoken for 13 years with my (now adult) child who has a family and children. My ex spent years systematically convincing our child that there were so many bad things about me. And, in the end, he convinced our child that I had caused the cancer that eventually took his life because I was a crazy bitch, etc.. He told her so many lies. Because it began at the age of 5 and was endlessly reinforced, there was absolutely no way to defend myself against this cruel abuse of my beloved child.
The most abusive thing a parent can do is sabotage the love of the other parent. Children deserve love from everywhere.
Agree. And have been telling others THIS.
Thank you for advocating so strongly for mothers like myself who are targeted parents of severe DFV and alienation.
Alienation - no matter what term is used is very real and is recognised under the DSM under a number of diagnostic categories- however psychologists are not well educated and trained on these dynamics and hence never apply these diagnoses.
From personal experience severely alienated children suffer enormously. My son has attempted his life many times. Substance abuse, anxiety, depression, lifelong issues with relationships (including an extremely high chance of being alienated from their own children) are some of these harms.
We need to work together to address the harm to all mothers from Family Court and Magistrates courts - not just the ones that fit a neat narrative.
Yes men do falsely claim PA - but that doesn’t mean it isn’t real. Many men also claim that women are physically, verbally and emotionally abusive - but we don’t pretend that these forms of abuse don’t exist.
I want Virginia’s legacy to be one in which these behaviours are exposed and mothers and their children are protected from this catastrophic harm.
I want to push for a full inquest into her death and I have many mothers here in Perth who would be willing to testify on their own experience of these dynamics.
I would also like to say that misidentification by police and particularly in the Magistrate’s Court (where anyone can walk into the MC here in Perth to apply for a FVRO and make up a story without evidence) is in my opinion the biggest problem in our system.
If we cannot correctly identify who is the victim and who is the perpetrator then what kind of system do we have?
If anyone would like to reach out to me my email address is email.mj@me.com (yes the word “email” is part of my email address.
Let’s work together to ensure this system protects ALL women who are being abused including by the weaponisation and alienation of the or children.
The preferred term is CAMS (child and mother sabotage) for actions that abusive fathers take to systematically sabotage the relationship between mother and child.
PA is a fake mental illness that was made up by a child molester to pathologise the actions of a protective mother against an abusive father in the eyes of the family court. It is a tool used by abusers to intentionally perpetrate CAMS in the family courts.
The term parental alienation should not be applied to what male abusers do to women in the family courts.
You’ve been misled. Gardner did not create it; it is a valid concept that has been around for centuries. Just because some jerk 40 years ago misused it and judges are lying about mothers alienating does not mean we should have to stop using it—that is counterproductive. Alienate accurately describes what’s happening, CSAM does not, or DV by proxy or coercive control or any of the other things DAPPs use to replace it. Women should simply say that judges are falsely accusing mothers of alienating and allowing fathers to alienate. The public gets that and women will not be divided into two camps anymore which is bad for our cause. This may help: https://womenscoalition.substack.com/p/the-parental-alienation-rabbit-hole
The most problematic thing about parental alienation is not that it is the go to defense of pedophiles and violent abusers in the family courts and that it is frequently used sucessfuly to separte protective mothers from their children. The most problematic thing about PA is that it frames the actions of the alienating parent in the category of a mental illness, which suggests that the remedy is therapeutic interventions from mental health professionals.
When abusive fathers use the systemic bias agaisnt mothers in the family courts to sabotage the connection between mother and child, they are making a conscious choice to do so. The remedy for that choice is not therapy, the remedy is criminal penalties and reparations.
Now that there's more buzz in the air about anti-mother and child bias in the family courts, the male abusers would love to have their actions refrained as PA-- a mental illness requiring the pedicure intervention-- rather than what it is: criminal act to abbreviate the basic human rights of mother and child. Intolerable cruelty and a depravity of moral values.
Just because it is the go-to defense of pedos does not mean we should toss out the word/concept. That benefits men. They do not want us to say they are alienating our kids because 1) it accurately conveys the terrible truth and the other terms don’t 2) it’s a divide and conquer strategy: some moms want to use it and 3) the public understands alienation which is better for raising awareness and better holds them accountable.
AGAIN: the most problematic thing about alienation is not the word/concept. It is that it is being misused—judges falsely finding mothers to be alienating and allowing fathers to alienate. Not being able to use the word/concept takes power away from women and empowers men.
Hope you can understand the problem is Judges Are Lying---not only about mothers alienating but a whole host of other things too. That is what needs to be stopped via a new system. Dithering about PA will do nothing to end the crisis.
PS: It's not the alienating parent who is said to be mentally ill, it's the child. But it's irrelevant anyway whether it is a diagnosable mental illness or not. It exists---as a verb, adjective and noun: the father is alienating, the child is alienated from the mother and the mother is alienated from her child, and the process is called alienation.
Hope that helps...
I feel her pain! My ex alienated me from my children.