OB-GYN Murdered at Exchange & How a Modern Matriarchy Will End the Crisis
Dr. Gwendolyn Riddick, an OB-GYN, was murdered by her ex at a local North Carolina park last Sunday during a custody exchange. This slaughter took place in public in front of her three year-old son and park goers.
Dr. Riddick’s ex had assaulted her on multiple occasions previously. She was seeking sole custody of her toddler.
Another mother halfway across the country in Texas met the same fate last week during a custody exchange of her toddler. It is not uncommon for women and children to be harmed, or even murdered as these mothers were, as a result of having to share custody.
One of their exes is in jail, the other committed suicide. But that is justice after the fact, after the loss of life and immense trauma to the child, family, and friends, not to mention the intergenerational trauma that will ensue.
INSANITY UNRECOGNIZED
When you back up and think about it, it is insane that a mother is forced to do this, to hand over her baby to a violent perpetrator, or, actually, to any man. Women who give life, nurture children and are the primary bond should not have to fight legally to keep or protect them. But that is what happens in a patriarchically-organized society.
It’s been so many millennia that men have had this power, it’s like fish in water. Women don’t recognize that it is the patriarchal order that underpins this insanity and that it is just not natural or normal or right. Or, if they do, they cannot envision a way out of the patriarchal swamp.
Although getting custody cases out of Family Court and into a real court with juries of our peers (i.e. women) will help immensely in the short run, it is an imperfect solution since patriarchy underpins all courts and socio-legal processes. What is needed in the long term (but ASAP!) is cultural change, a society in which mothers play a central role.
Cultural change is needed ASAP.
MATRI-FORUM
Fortunately, a network of European women, experts in matriarchies of past and present, have a vision for how “egalitarian matriarchies” provide for mothers keeping their children with them, as well for a better society at large. This matriarchal system “places life as a core value at the centre of society and provides a foundation to create concrete, viable alternatives for a balanced, egalitarian and peaceful society”.
Together we can move from a PATRIcentric, control-based and divisive social order to a MATRIcentric, flow-based and integrating society.
Much of their work is based on the book “Societies of Peace: Matriarchies Past, Present, and Future” by Dr. Heide Göttner-Abendroth.
Societies of Peace “celebrates women's largely ignored and/or invisible contribution to culture by exploring matriarchal societies that have existed in the past and that continue to exist today in certain parts of the world”.
Four women in this network (pictured above) have founded the Matri-Forum so women have a place to dialogue about matriarchies. Their goal is to impart knowledge to the public about how society can be transformed and encourage women to network with others.
MatriForum aims to encourage further constructive dialogue between science and the public at large regarding alternative, egalitarian forms of society supported by the latest findings in the scientific fields of modern matriarchal research, economics, sociology, political science and cultural studies, among other areas.
Recently, one of the MatriForum founders, Dr. Andrea Fleckinger, went on Elle Kamihira’s Subject to Power podcast. Dr. Fleckinger explains the many societal benefits of modern matriarchies and how they would function.
The general idea is that the matrilineal line prevails in a modern matriarchy. Children live with mothers in extended maternal “clans” and “regions”. Mothers have help with caregiving from maternal relatives and others, but a mother will always take care of her children—that is a core value.
A core value: a mother will always take care of her children.
Mothers are respected and revered for their role in giving life and nurturing children. It was this way before patriarchy took hold, as is made clear through the abundance of female goddesses. In matriarchies, there are no male-created religions, with gods made in man’s image, that subordinate women and cause division and terror.
There is no traditional marriage in a modern matriarchy. Marriage has served as a means of male control and subjugation of women. Women are not given, symbolically or otherwise, by their fathers to husbands. Instead, women stay connected with their maternal clan and are free to leave the biological father without him retaining any control if the relationship does not work out. And men stay connected with their maternal clan, helping out with raising children.
Women are free to have romantic relationships as they please. But they are always expected to nurture their children.
Dr. Fleckinger explains how matriarchies are not the reverse of patriarchies. They are not about dominance, hierarchies, or accumulation. They are about equality, consensus, sharing, respect, peace, living in harmony with nature, and protecting our planet.
There is so much more. Dr. Fleckinger goes into depth about the social, economic and political aspects of modern matriarchies on the highly recommended podcast: The Mother Line.
ADDING MATRIARCHIES TO COALITION PLATFORM
There is no doubt that change is needed at the cultural level as well as legal. Even if the establishment of matriarchies is a longer-term solution than dismantling family courts, changing culture can and must begin now, with women understanding how matriarchies are organized and promoting them.
So, the Women’s Coalition is adding the promotion of modern matriarchies to our platform. We are looking forward to helping move towards a matriarchically-organized society.
Our immediate goal of dismantling family courts is supplemented by this long-term solution of promoting modern matriarchies. That is the ultimate, permanent solution to the Post-Separation Crisis.
We may believe that violent patriarchy is an inevitable reality…But there is much evidence—in our history, in our bodies and brains, in our nature—that tells a very different story. A story of peace, cooperation and sophisticated organization. A story in which mothers play a central role.
This solution is simple, if not daunting: replace the patriarchy with a modern matriarchy. Or, more dramatically: “Smash the patriarchy!” as one Coalitionist puts it.
And there is no better time than the present to begin.
SISTERS FORUMS ON MATRIARCHY
Our new activist arm, Sisters in Solidarity, will be doing forums on various topics related to the Post-Separation Crisis. We will be adding sessions about modern matriarchies to the list.
If you understand that patriarchy/sexism is causing the crisis and would like to join other women in networking about it, you can join our International Sisterhood by filling out this brief form.
If you have extra time to devote to activism and want to be a Sister Aide, please fill out this form.
Thanks to all who’ve signed up. Focus groups will begin later this month. Watch this page for updates.
Sexism is the foundation on which all tyranny is built. Every social form of hierarchy and abuse is modeled on male-over-female domination. Andrea Dworkin
You may also support the Coalition’s work through a one-time or recurring contribution through PayPal.
Dr. Gwendolyn Riddick should be alive. Her son should have his mommy. The Texas mom should be alive. Her toddler should have his or her mommy. The lives of these children are forever changed. Women and children are not valued or protected. The inhumanity is insignificant to abusive and empowered males. The insanity and craziness is in a male entitled system that requires loving and nurturing mothers to hand their precious children over to violent and sadistic monsters. Family court judges endanger women and children. Abusive fathers harm children physically and emotionally. They use their children as an extension of themselves to continue to torment mothers. Children would be safer in a matriarchal society. Women would also be safer. Women and children are not male property. Patriarchy dominated family court treats them as though they are. Women and children need, deserve and have a right to protection. They deserve to be together. Women need to continue to fight for change. Family court judges must be rendered powerless. Mothers must be allowed to love, nurture and protect their children. Mothers and children should be able to live together in peace.
Although we know matriarchy was and will be the re-balancing we need and the restoration to sanity, I think the Coalition should keep focus on removing family court access to women and children custody cases.