“The Custody Crisis: Why It's Happening & How We Can End It” is a powerpoint presentation that describes the nature of the Custody Crisis and a solution for stopping it.
Please, Mothers, STOP and L I S T E N TO Ms Dumas h e r e. I am 74, lost my three birthed sons to a violent physician ( yes, an MD ) and tried through seven years' litigations ( district and appellate ) and ... ... seriously, 24 m a l e judges of the total of 25 of them with only one man and the one woman as appellate judges ruling in my favor. So I won them back. UNTIL ... ... WHAT Ms Dumas is eloquently stating but YOU MOTHERS ARE REFUSING TO GET IN TO YOUR BRAINS.
THUS: PATRIARCHY. MEN C A N, and WILL DO, WHAT THEY WANT TO KEEP " the Family " theirs / IN THEIR CONTROL.
WHERE I had won at 2:1 FOR me ? THAT ONE MALE JUDGE BROUGHT IN TWO OTHER MEN ( both of whom had NOT HEARD ONE WORD OF MY APPELLATE ARGUMENTS AND NEVER SEEN NOR HEARD FROM ME, NOW PRO SE ) .... BROUGHT IN TWO OTHER MEN SO THAT I " L E G A L L Y " NOW REMAINED ... ... L O S T: 3:2 NOW AGAINST ME. I NEVER SAW NOR SPOKE TO NOR TOUCHED MY BOYS AGAIN. LEGALLY.
I DID. ONLY because I DRESSED AS A MAN WITH MUSTOUCHE AND WIG AND DROVE A BEATER F I V E FUCKING STATES' DISTANCE AWAY. TO FIND THEM. AT WHERE THEY HAD BEEN, OVERNIGHT, ABSCONDED TO ... ... BY THE SPERM SOURCE. L E G A L L Y cuz of those MEN - JUDGES.
PATRIARCHY, Mothers. NOT $. NOT HIS $. NOT court officials' $. NOT " connections. " NONE of that. You, Mothers, simply have the wrong genitalia. YOU CANNOT E V E R WIN. AS FEMALES. UP AGAINST A MAN WHO FILES THAT HE " WANTS " THE KIDS. HE W I L L GET THEM. PERIOD.
SO.
J U R I E S. ONLY. ONLY JURIES ... ... EQUITABLE ONES ... ... equitably chosen - JURIES.
TO DECIDE CUSTODY of children. P E R I O D.
Just cuz YOU 'ld like there to NOT be the Patriarchy ANYMORE NOW. Say, for the last 40 to 50 years ?
THERE STILL IS The PATRIARCHY. AND the MAIN JOB OF ALL " FAMILY " " LAW " COURT JUDGES IS ... ... THEIR ACTUAL JOB IS ... ... to KEEP IN PLACE the PATRIARCHY. HOW ?
PER DR MILLETT'S p33, Sexual Politics / y1970: " The CHIEF INSTITUTION of the Patriarchy IS ... ...
the F A M I L Y. " THAT is how.
PLEASE, FOR MOTHERS' and CHILDREN'S SAKES, F I N A L L Y ... ... G E T THIS.
I AM OLD and fucking EXHAUSTED. TRYING TO MAKE YOU ALL G E T THIS. SO.
SO. JUST FUCKING LOOK AROUND. THEN, TRY and TELL ME THAT Ms Dumas and I are wrong.
And the ultimate punishment save for murder, is brainwashing the children to grow up to hate and alienate their own mothers, reabuse like we see all the time when women report any kind of crime against us/our kids, and indeed these are criminals who have been organized to keep men overpowering basically anyone they want if they have enough money or can offer up the mother of their children's money by dragging us into court. As for the district attorneys, worthless the lot of them, I'd like to see a comparative analysis of so-called criminal behavior of women who end up behind bars as opposed to the men who walk like my ex did every time he broke into my house and broke my body which ended me up in the hospital three different times. Not a night in jail passed the initial soft arrest where he bailed himself out every time and then plea bargained down to basically what constituted a nothing but a speeding ticket. And like I've reported time and again, he didn't just do this to me, he was a violent entitled, serial offender who, after we split up, got a teenager pregnant when he was getting a license to practice marriage and family counseling when he wasn't even allowed to see our child and the courts knew his children by his first marriage had been taken away from him and his first wife when they were quite small, for the same kinds of crime. Of course after marrying a concubine, his long time fantasy, he fought for and got custody of that child having someone to do all the child care and when he died he didn't leave that woman anything but kicked out of their house. This is excellent. I don't think you've left anything out. I like the stern and straightforward tone of it. Thank you for creating it for the rest of us and the ones who will come after. This has got to end. The generational trauma inflicted on our kids because abusers can't take NO for an answer and the courts can't either, has ruined this country's soul has this country has been known to do to vulnerable folks in its very recent past, in other sadistic, unforgivable ways. The taxpayer needs to know about this racket under no uncertain terms just like you've spelled it out, where their money is being thrown around and who to which includes the lawyers, especially the ones in robes. So many wounded, innocent people who can never fully heal in this lifetime.
Thankfully its over, 10s of £000s in solicitors and 5 years of my life. He walked away as his wife didn't want the children in the end. The emotional abuse to my daughter and self has been catastrophic. Four and a half years since the final court case, my daughter is still in therapy, the wounds so deep. I left him because of the abuse to her and me
Police statements and photographs all dismissed as irrelevant and now the court sanctioned abuse continued. Sadness is, our judge was female.
My daughter does not trust any professional as a result. 5 more years my gagging order will be lifted and I will tell the full story.
Jury trials won’t work either. Gender, bias and patriarchal views are held by most people on the planet. I am a clinical psychologist and getting a PhD in psychology public policy in the law. I’m studying bias injuries and what happened in the Diddy trial is the same thing that happened to me when I lost my three daughters in October the real issue is that women don’t have equal human rights under the law. This is global and it is the patriarchy.
Juries hearing custody cases is not a perfect solution but a hundred times better than family court judges who ignore and cover up abuse to switch custody to fathers.
1st: You only need 3/4 of jurors to decide on just preponderance. Most jurors will not likely ignore evidence of abuse regardless of how biased they are against women.
2nd: Women do have equal rights on paper, just not in practice--because Family Court is designed so judges can do whatever they want.
Women are much more likely to get due process in real civil courts.
So sorry you lost your daughters, it is an epidemic.
I really appreciate the work you are doing and your advocacy for survivors. It is deeply needed. I’d love to offer support or answer questions around some of the systemic research I am doing as a doctoral student in psychology, public policy, and the law. Much of my work focuses on bias in juries, the court system and broader society
and the ways patriarchal structures are embedded in both family and civil courts. I think we all want the same thing: justice for women and children. Our collective power grows when we deepen our understanding of how the system actually operates.
I also understand how painful it is to consider that there may be nothing within the current system that can truly address what is happening. That is a tough pill to swallow. But once we do, we can begin to organize in ways that are not about working around the system, but about dismantling it. I’m here if you ever want to collaborate, exchange research, or think through policy reform together.
Thank you for posting about the worse kind of abuse towards mothers. This is a worldwide epidemic. If a mother mentions domestic violence or child abuse in the Family Court, the judge often gives fullcusty of children to the abusive father, regardless of proof of his abuse. In spite of the mother being a good, responsible, and loving mother. The judge often justifies their decision by saying the mother will not foster a relationship between the children and father. In no other context is a victim of rape ordered to visit with their rapest. And the general public believes there had to be some kind of abuse by the mother if she lost custody. The Father's Rights Groups perpetuates this view. The abusive father is then able to continue to abuse and control the mother and children and doesn't have to pay child support. Abusive fathers must be held accountable for their abuse and victims protected. Make him stop abusing, and stop blaming the mother for reporting the abuse and trying to protect her children. My now ex kidnapped child twice, physically and sexually abused her, and attempted to murder me in a premeditated attempt which he admitted to a therapist and a counsellor from Men Stopping Violence. Abuse of child was discovered by court recommended psychologist and verified by Children and Young Person assessor. All these people testified in Family Court. Judge couldn't have cared less. If anyone wonders why mothers run with children, just look at what is happening in Family Court.
Please, Mothers, STOP and L I S T E N TO Ms Dumas h e r e. I am 74, lost my three birthed sons to a violent physician ( yes, an MD ) and tried through seven years' litigations ( district and appellate ) and ... ... seriously, 24 m a l e judges of the total of 25 of them with only one man and the one woman as appellate judges ruling in my favor. So I won them back. UNTIL ... ... WHAT Ms Dumas is eloquently stating but YOU MOTHERS ARE REFUSING TO GET IN TO YOUR BRAINS.
THUS: PATRIARCHY. MEN C A N, and WILL DO, WHAT THEY WANT TO KEEP " the Family " theirs / IN THEIR CONTROL.
WHERE I had won at 2:1 FOR me ? THAT ONE MALE JUDGE BROUGHT IN TWO OTHER MEN ( both of whom had NOT HEARD ONE WORD OF MY APPELLATE ARGUMENTS AND NEVER SEEN NOR HEARD FROM ME, NOW PRO SE ) .... BROUGHT IN TWO OTHER MEN SO THAT I " L E G A L L Y " NOW REMAINED ... ... L O S T: 3:2 NOW AGAINST ME. I NEVER SAW NOR SPOKE TO NOR TOUCHED MY BOYS AGAIN. LEGALLY.
I DID. ONLY because I DRESSED AS A MAN WITH MUSTOUCHE AND WIG AND DROVE A BEATER F I V E FUCKING STATES' DISTANCE AWAY. TO FIND THEM. AT WHERE THEY HAD BEEN, OVERNIGHT, ABSCONDED TO ... ... BY THE SPERM SOURCE. L E G A L L Y cuz of those MEN - JUDGES.
PATRIARCHY, Mothers. NOT $. NOT HIS $. NOT court officials' $. NOT " connections. " NONE of that. You, Mothers, simply have the wrong genitalia. YOU CANNOT E V E R WIN. AS FEMALES. UP AGAINST A MAN WHO FILES THAT HE " WANTS " THE KIDS. HE W I L L GET THEM. PERIOD.
SO.
J U R I E S. ONLY. ONLY JURIES ... ... EQUITABLE ONES ... ... equitably chosen - JURIES.
TO DECIDE CUSTODY of children. P E R I O D.
Just cuz YOU 'ld like there to NOT be the Patriarchy ANYMORE NOW. Say, for the last 40 to 50 years ?
THERE STILL IS The PATRIARCHY. AND the MAIN JOB OF ALL " FAMILY " " LAW " COURT JUDGES IS ... ... THEIR ACTUAL JOB IS ... ... to KEEP IN PLACE the PATRIARCHY. HOW ?
PER DR MILLETT'S p33, Sexual Politics / y1970: " The CHIEF INSTITUTION of the Patriarchy IS ... ...
the F A M I L Y. " THAT is how.
PLEASE, FOR MOTHERS' and CHILDREN'S SAKES, F I N A L L Y ... ... G E T THIS.
I AM OLD and fucking EXHAUSTED. TRYING TO MAKE YOU ALL G E T THIS. SO.
SO. JUST FUCKING LOOK AROUND. THEN, TRY and TELL ME THAT Ms Dumas and I are wrong.
LOOK th' 'ell AROUND YOU, Mothers.
Blue Maas
https://bluemaas.blogspot.com/
This ? This EVIL and HORRENDOUS T R U T H ? the PATRIARCHY and
the " F A M I L Y " " LAW " COURTS' RULINGS ? IF daddee " wants " the children ?
THIS PATRIARCHY RULING IS W O R L D W I D E.
Blue Maas
And the ultimate punishment save for murder, is brainwashing the children to grow up to hate and alienate their own mothers, reabuse like we see all the time when women report any kind of crime against us/our kids, and indeed these are criminals who have been organized to keep men overpowering basically anyone they want if they have enough money or can offer up the mother of their children's money by dragging us into court. As for the district attorneys, worthless the lot of them, I'd like to see a comparative analysis of so-called criminal behavior of women who end up behind bars as opposed to the men who walk like my ex did every time he broke into my house and broke my body which ended me up in the hospital three different times. Not a night in jail passed the initial soft arrest where he bailed himself out every time and then plea bargained down to basically what constituted a nothing but a speeding ticket. And like I've reported time and again, he didn't just do this to me, he was a violent entitled, serial offender who, after we split up, got a teenager pregnant when he was getting a license to practice marriage and family counseling when he wasn't even allowed to see our child and the courts knew his children by his first marriage had been taken away from him and his first wife when they were quite small, for the same kinds of crime. Of course after marrying a concubine, his long time fantasy, he fought for and got custody of that child having someone to do all the child care and when he died he didn't leave that woman anything but kicked out of their house. This is excellent. I don't think you've left anything out. I like the stern and straightforward tone of it. Thank you for creating it for the rest of us and the ones who will come after. This has got to end. The generational trauma inflicted on our kids because abusers can't take NO for an answer and the courts can't either, has ruined this country's soul has this country has been known to do to vulnerable folks in its very recent past, in other sadistic, unforgivable ways. The taxpayer needs to know about this racket under no uncertain terms just like you've spelled it out, where their money is being thrown around and who to which includes the lawyers, especially the ones in robes. So many wounded, innocent people who can never fully heal in this lifetime.
Being careful as I have a gagging order.
Thankfully its over, 10s of £000s in solicitors and 5 years of my life. He walked away as his wife didn't want the children in the end. The emotional abuse to my daughter and self has been catastrophic. Four and a half years since the final court case, my daughter is still in therapy, the wounds so deep. I left him because of the abuse to her and me
Police statements and photographs all dismissed as irrelevant and now the court sanctioned abuse continued. Sadness is, our judge was female.
My daughter does not trust any professional as a result. 5 more years my gagging order will be lifted and I will tell the full story.
Jury trials won’t work either. Gender, bias and patriarchal views are held by most people on the planet. I am a clinical psychologist and getting a PhD in psychology public policy in the law. I’m studying bias injuries and what happened in the Diddy trial is the same thing that happened to me when I lost my three daughters in October the real issue is that women don’t have equal human rights under the law. This is global and it is the patriarchy.
Juries hearing custody cases is not a perfect solution but a hundred times better than family court judges who ignore and cover up abuse to switch custody to fathers.
1st: You only need 3/4 of jurors to decide on just preponderance. Most jurors will not likely ignore evidence of abuse regardless of how biased they are against women.
2nd: Women do have equal rights on paper, just not in practice--because Family Court is designed so judges can do whatever they want.
Women are much more likely to get due process in real civil courts.
So sorry you lost your daughters, it is an epidemic.
I really appreciate the work you are doing and your advocacy for survivors. It is deeply needed. I’d love to offer support or answer questions around some of the systemic research I am doing as a doctoral student in psychology, public policy, and the law. Much of my work focuses on bias in juries, the court system and broader society
and the ways patriarchal structures are embedded in both family and civil courts. I think we all want the same thing: justice for women and children. Our collective power grows when we deepen our understanding of how the system actually operates.
I also understand how painful it is to consider that there may be nothing within the current system that can truly address what is happening. That is a tough pill to swallow. But once we do, we can begin to organize in ways that are not about working around the system, but about dismantling it. I’m here if you ever want to collaborate, exchange research, or think through policy reform together.
We are already organizing and have a plan. If you're interested in joining us read this: https://womenscoalition.substack.com/p/sisters-in-solidarity-new-activism
Thank you for posting about the worse kind of abuse towards mothers. This is a worldwide epidemic. If a mother mentions domestic violence or child abuse in the Family Court, the judge often gives fullcusty of children to the abusive father, regardless of proof of his abuse. In spite of the mother being a good, responsible, and loving mother. The judge often justifies their decision by saying the mother will not foster a relationship between the children and father. In no other context is a victim of rape ordered to visit with their rapest. And the general public believes there had to be some kind of abuse by the mother if she lost custody. The Father's Rights Groups perpetuates this view. The abusive father is then able to continue to abuse and control the mother and children and doesn't have to pay child support. Abusive fathers must be held accountable for their abuse and victims protected. Make him stop abusing, and stop blaming the mother for reporting the abuse and trying to protect her children. My now ex kidnapped child twice, physically and sexually abused her, and attempted to murder me in a premeditated attempt which he admitted to a therapist and a counsellor from Men Stopping Violence. Abuse of child was discovered by court recommended psychologist and verified by Children and Young Person assessor. All these people testified in Family Court. Judge couldn't have cared less. If anyone wonders why mothers run with children, just look at what is happening in Family Court.
https://www.buzzsprout.com/1364944