Dispelling Family Court Propaganda & False Narratives
Towards a New Paradigm for Custody Cases
Propaganda and false narratives fuel the Custody Crisis and counter-narratives must be crafted in women’s fight for power after divorce.
A paradigm shift is necessary.
Propaganda and false narratives are both types of untrue information being spread to the public, but it is important to understand the difference when it comes to the Crisis women face in family courts.
The dissemination of propaganda is the long-standing, systematic manipulation of people to achieve a goal. False narratives can be spread intentionally or unintentionally but are not organized, enduring attempts to manipulate people.
The Old Boy Network [OBN] has been disseminating propaganda to gain men power in the family for a long time via men’s/fathers’ groups, movies, the media, etc. On the other hand, women are naïvely believing and spreading false narratives.
Both are harmful to our cause and must be actively countered. An organized, systematic replacement of these false narratives with true ones will aid greatly in women gaining the power to keep and protect their children.
Following is a bullet point list divided into Propaganda spread mostly by men and False Narratives believed and spread mostly by women. Each is followed by a “truth” sound bite.
PROPAGANDA
Mothers lie about abuse by fathers to win custody.
TRUTH: This is men’s “silver bullet” theory: that a false accusation of abuse by the father automatically leads to the mother getting sole custody. Quite the contrary. Mothers rarely report abuse falsely and most often lose custody when they report real abuse by the father.
Children report abuse falsely because the mother coached/alienated them.
TRUTH: Children rarely report abuse falsely and it is common for judges to make false findings that mothers coached or alienated, all the while disregarding and concealing strong evidence of the abuse.
Mothers have had the advantage to custody since the “Tender Years” Doctrine”.
TRUTH: Mothers have never had the advantage to custody, even while the Tenders Years doctrine was in effect. If ever a father wanted custody, he need only accuse the mother of being some version of “mad” or “bad” and the judge would grant him custody. Same as today.
Fathers are discriminated against when they do not get equal custody.
TRUTH: It is not discrimination when fathers do not get equal custody. The prevailing doctrine is the best interests of children, not men. It is discrimination against women when fathers are granted equal or sole custody when that is not in children’s best interests.
Equal parenting time is in children’s best interests.
TRUTH: It is in children’s best interests in contested custody cases (arguably all cases) to live primarily with their primary attachment figure and visit regularly with their secondary attachment figure. This propaganda serves men’s main goal of reducing or eliminating child support.
Frequent contact with both parents is in children’s best interests.
TRUTH: Frequent contact with fathers who are the subject of a custody battle is often not in children’s best interests. This implies that contact with fathers is so important that, even if they are abusive, it is best for children to have contact with them.
Mothers are “mad” or “bad”.
TRUTH: These are sexist tropes that paint mothers as vindictive, malicious, mentally ill, unstable, delusional, etc. They are lies made by judges to facilitate switching custody to the father.
The “divorce industry” is the problem.
TRUTH: Although there are many family court professionals profiting from custody cases, the “divorce industry” actually supports the agenda by rewarding those who steer cases to the father. Professionals who tell the truth about the father’s abuse or unfitness and zealously represent women do not get re-appointed.
The Family Court Crisis is gender neutral.
TRUTH: What is happening in Family Court is gendered. Judges are falsely finding mothers to be abusive and disregarding abuse by fathers—not the other way around. This propaganda is confuses and divides women.
Family matters are private matters.
TRUTH: Family Court cases should be open to the public to hold judges accountable. This propaganda is used to justify issuing gag orders and sealing records.
Parents’ rights are being violated.
TRUTH: Although rights to due process are being violated in family courts, fathers are the beneficiary of it by far. This propaganda is the foundation of the faux gender-neutral arm of the men’s movement.
FALSE NARRATIVES
The crisis is judges giving custody to abusers.
TRUTH: The crisis is judges giving custody to fathers, many of whom just want to get out of child support. This misleading narrative underpins protective parent and domestic abuse groups, deflecting from the gendered nature and cause of the crisis.
More child safety laws are needed to protect children in custody battles.
Child safety laws will not stop judges from giving children to abusive fathers. No law will stop judges from giving kids to abusive fathers. Advocating for child safety laws is a waste of time and misleads women.
Evaluators/children’s attorneys/GALs/therapists mislead the judge.
TRUTH: Judges are not being misled by their very own court appointees. They purposely appoint professionals who will get with the program.
The “cottage industry” is the problem.
TRUTH: The “cottage industry” fuels the crisis but is not the cause. This is the sibling of the “divorce industry” propaganda. The profiteering serves to reward those who go along to get along.
Women need equal rights.
TRUTH: Women need power, not rights. Women have already gained the legal right to custody. The problem is judges have the power to deem women liars or mentally ill.
Parental alienation is unscientific and should be banned.
TRUTH: The problem is that judges are falsely finding mothers to be alienating to justify switching custody to fathers and allowing fathers to alienate children from mothers.
Judges and appointees need training.
TRUTH: Lack of training is not the problem. Judges are deliberately disregarding and covering up abuse by fathers, including sexual abuse, so as to give them custody.
It’s not about gender! It’s about protecting children!
TRUTH: The Crisis is at its core a gendered issue. It is only women wrongly losing custody in hordes, not men. This is a sibling to men’s gender-neutral propaganda.
Judges are subconsciously biased or in psychological denial.
TRUTH: Judges are knowingly giving custody to abusive fathers, as hard as that may be for many to believe. It is systemic, not an individual judge problem.
TAKEAWAYS
There are so much propaganda and false narratives circulating that it may be overwhelming to think about countering each one. But there are some simple underlying themes to keep in mind. A few important ones are:
1) The Crisis is not gender neutral. Judges are systematically entitling fathers and oppressing mothers.
2) Judges are not being misled or in denial. They are lying. Training will not help.
3) The core issue is not abuse but power. Women need to regain the power they had before patriarchy took hold.
4) New laws will not make a difference as the system gives judges virtually absolute power. An entirely new system is needed.
Some of the false narratives are expounded on in our Custody Crisis Rabbit Holes series.
Changing attitudes about parenting after divorce is also necessary. Men have controlled the narrative, instilling the view that fathers are equally important when it comes to raising children. Children are literally being taken off mother’s breast to give to the father. This is so absurd.
Research and common sense support that children need their primary attachment figure for healthy development. Secondary attachment figures are frosting on the cake. This perspective is anathema to the Old Boys, as it inadvertently gives mothers power, and their goal has always been to maintain men’s power and control in the family.
The idea that mothers should automatically retain primary custody after divorce is shocking only because men have been successful with their propaganda and controlling the narrative.
It’s up to women to effectuate a paradigm shift. We need to speak the truth amongst ourselves and get it out to the public on social media, in the workplace, and with friends and relatives. We need to take control of the narrative.
Collective action is powerful.
Join The Women’s Coalition where we are uniting as women to make change.
IN OTHER NEWS
REVOLUTION & LAWSUIT
The Women’s Coalition is launching the new Women’s Revolution with the filing of a Discrimination against Women in Family Court lawsuit. We have an attorney filing in New York and possibly one in New Jersey and Washington.
More info about the lawsuit
To join the lawsuit: fill out this form for the U.S. and for other countries this form.
SISTERS IN SOLIDARITY
Sisters in Solidarity is our activism group. We meet once a month.
Our next forum will be April 19th.
More info: Sisters in Solidarity.
CHAPTER 28: NEXT SECTION IS OUT!
The third custody trial continues after a two-month delay. Legion is questioning the stepmother on the stand, who reluctantly admits she has never told the boys she loves them. Legion is trying to make the point to the Court that she, the biological mother and primary bond, is necessary for the children’s emotional well-being. She has not figured out yet that the judge does not care at all about the boys’ well-being or safety—that The Fix was in for The Father on day one. Legion is irate at how the stepmother is able to continuously lie under oath and “not one mother-fucking thing” can be done about it.
In the last section of Chapter 28, Legion’s third custody trial is underway. She is questioning her witnesses on direct. She begins to recognize “the Look” between the judge and opposing counsel and Herry that that is a tip-off to the truth—that this is just a show trial and she did not have a “snowball’s chance in hell” of winning. Halfway into direct examinations of her 15 witnesses, Legion comes down with the stomach flu and the judge takes the opportunity to continue the trial until October.
CHAPTER 28 of Mother-Fucking: The Saga of One Fucked Mother begins with Act III, Part 4 of “The Opera” from Book 3. The Opera has three Acts with five Parts—one for each of the three Family Court and two Appellate Court trials. Chapter 28 covers all of Act III: Part 4: the third Family Court trial and Part 5: the second Appellate trial. This is a long chapter and will be published in newsletter-sized bites.
Dr. Blue’s novel is based on her own experience of the Custody Crisis. It uniquely conveys how Family Court judges are “mother-fucking” women—a form of systemic oppression—as protagonist Legion is systematically and methodically deprived of her children and money and reduced to “one fucked mother”.
Chapters are stand-alone interesting so you can begin reading anywhere. A Cast of Characters follows to help readers at any point. All published chapters are included in the Section: “Saga of One F**ked Mother” accessible on the top bar of the home page of Women’s Coalition News & Views. Sequential chapters are published every Wednesday so make sure to subscribe if you haven’t yet!
TEASERS
It is that simple. It truly, truly is. To lie and to deceive, depending upon who you are and what your pedigree is, in an American court of family law, that is literally all that it takes. Because he can. Because he is a male and he is a pillar and because she is his Next Cunt in the Stash, she lied again and, at the same time, mockingly guffawed at me from her post there on the witness stand where she was sworn to tell the Truth…
She did not know that violent abusers like Herry and endangering people such as herself get awards of primary physical care custody of minor children all of the fucking time! And that, even if challenged on appeal, those discriminating and destructive decisions willfully go by … wholly uncorrected. The abuser prevails. And nothing changes. And the children continue to … grow up … without their mother. With their mother––to them––vengefully made … invisible!
You may also give a gift subscription to a friend who is a victim of the Custody Crisis.
Or feel free to support the Coalition’s work through a one-time or recurring contribution through the Paypal Giving Fund.
All contributions are greatly appreciated!
Family court is about male power and control. Women do not have the power to protect their children in family court. Children are considered male property. Loving mothers are falsely deemed unfit. Family court judges abuse their power and face no consequences. Women must continue to unite and fight for a new system. A jury would give women and children a chance at justice. Family court judges endanger women and children. Family court must end.